Dear Equity Uncle,
I love skiing, but the bills are rising and I can’t possibly afford to go on snow camp. Is it wrong for MULSS to be organising events that are only affordable for Higgins-seat voters?
Equity will not suffer a wrong without a remedy. Equity sees the perception of inequality as a wrong. Equity has three remedies to help you understand how you are just as equal as your peers, and can easily afford snow camp.
Firstly, in the past week alone Equity has salvaged $8.65 from under the soft drink vending machine on level 2 – and Equity was barely trying. Equity is such a rogue.
Secondly, Equity has heard of a new weekly called Pitch being distributed on campus. Unlike stingy De Minimis, they are offering to pay for submissions. Equity plans to secretly send through all his past comments for De Minimis and make a pretty penny.
Lastly, Equity has heard of students lining up at Stop 1 for several hours and then selling their primed tickets to needy students. What joy! Equity marvels at such ingenuity.
Equity will not aid a volunteer. But Equity delights in turning lazy volunteers into vigilant craftsmen who can afford snow camp.