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Volume 20, Issue 1  To get anywhere these days It seems a clerkship’s a necessity An expo here, a summit there It may well be the end of me I lied to the interviewers Said I’d like to help the poor I hope it isn’t obvious I’m here for corporate law Enough about me – how about you What can you do for me? I would like to discuss the culture here And of course, my salary On my way out of the top tier I shook the partner’s hand My grip was firm, I held his gaze Winked and said: “I think you know my dad” I’ll miss the oh-so-moral high ground Of the student society But these are just the things you do When you’re law school royalty. Byrion is a second year JD student The views in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of De Minimis or its Editors.
‘I feel like I can’t say anything anymore’, Says Conservative Man Stuck In The Don’t Breathe House29/7/2021
Volume 20, Issue 1 Winston Baker The world has come to a sad pass, a local man is convinced, on this dark winter’s evening. Jerry Peterson (22), laments the stifling atmosphere of fear created by PC culture, and the murderous denizen of this house. ‘I just feel like in the current climate [referring to the darkened home of a blind former soldier] I have to really watch my words in a way I didn’t before,’ Peterson told De Minimis. The R.M.-wearing member of the MLS Young Liberals has found himself in hot water recently, for airing some rather unvarnished views on cancel culture, in a place where even the slightest whisper could see him shot with improbable accuracy.  Volume 20, Issue 1 Gazza  As we all trudge back to another semester at the University of Zoom, it is okay to feel a little embittered.
The solemn email we all received last week from the Provost relayed his ‘extreme disappointment’ at the latest lockdown. The message, seeking to sympathise with both domestic and international audiences, assured us of the University’s commitment to its students. It was sent a couple of days after the notification about our student invoices. Well, Professor McCluskey, perhaps we might be forgiven for snarling at UniMelb’s professions of camaraderie. We are not all in this together. In fact, it’d be more apt to say that students and MLS have been pitted against each other by the pandemic. The University has flatly refused to cut fees, even for students who are literally not allowed into the country of their purported alma mater. What does it mean for your resume to proclaim ‘attended Melbourne Law School’? Frankly, a lot less than it used to, if attending Melbourne Law School means lying naked in your bed with undiagnosed depression, constantly checking that your camera is still off. |
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December 2021
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