‘I feel like I can’t say anything anymore’, Says Conservative Man Stuck In The Don’t Breathe House

Volume 20, Issue 1

Winston Baker

The world has come to a sad pass, a local man is convinced, on this dark winter’s evening. Jerry Peterson (22), laments the stifling atmosphere of fear created by PC culture, and the murderous denizen of this house.

‘I just feel like in the current climate [referring to the darkened home of a blind former soldier] I have to really watch my words in a way I didn’t before,’ Peterson told De Minimis.

​The R.M.-wearing member of the MLS Young Liberals has found himself in hot water recently, for airing some rather unvarnished views on cancel culture, in a place where even the slightest whisper could see him shot with improbable accuracy.

Charcot & Richer, 1887: possessed boy by Raphael

Speech issues have been extremely contentious recently, both on university campuses, and in the Detroit home of retired US Army Sergeant Norman Nordstrom, who was blinded in Iraq, but has retained his acute hearing and service pistol.

‘At the end of the day,’ Mr. Peterson whispered conspiratorially, ‘I feel my only real option is to bow to the mob and clam up.’

‘I’m just desperate to avoid any funny business with a turkey baster.’

More to follow. 


Winston Baker

The views in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of De Minimis or its Editors.