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What it's Like to Love You

26/3/2019

 
Issue 4, Semester 1, 2019

ANONYMOUS

You are a law student. That’s all you are, because law consumes your life. Explaining what it is like to be dating someone in law school is as hard as describing the colour orange to a blind person. It’s difficult to articulate how much it pains me to see you, my significant other, torture yourself over readings and revision and it’s just as hard to find a way to help you when all you want is peace and time to study.
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I’m forced to watch as your health slowly disintegrates. You become sleep deprived, moody and anxious. The worse thing is that no matter what I do, nothing helps. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have locked myself in the bathroom – crying at the pain of seeing you slave away at law. All the while feeling secondary in your life.

But I’m not going to be Debbie Downer ‘cause let’s be honest, law life is miserable enough as it is. So I’m doing to dig deep to find a few things where dating you, a law student, is rewarding.

Here goes: 

1.    While your law friends were intimidating at first, they’re pretty darn cool. Your course is filled with kind, intelligent and downright hilarious people and it’s a community in which you all support one another. Although law jargon litters your conversations’ which leaves me nodding and smiling on the sidelines, it doesn’t bother me. People watching has always been a hobby of mine and watching you converse with your friends is like being in the audience of Judge Judy – you don’t really talk, you all just passionately yell on top of one another. I’ll be bringing a bag of sweet and sour popcorn to your next hangout. 

2.   Your appearance doesn’t matter to you, so it doesn’t matter to either of us that I’m leaving the house in an 11 day old coffee stained tracksuit pants. Look, I’m not saying that I’ve let my appearances go, but when you’re dating someone who is consumed with law school, they don’t notice the small stuff which makes it easy for me to get away with minor discrepancies such as dirty socks. 

3.   You appreciate everything that makes you happy. Experiences or encounters that bring a smile your face are a hundred times more rewarding because they come in rare and small packages. When you’re sitting down to have dinner over an episode of Game of Thrones, you truly cherish the moment. Seeing the relief and appreciation etched on your face knowing that the next 54 minutes will be filled with dragons, incest and prostitutes instead of Contracts, Constitutional Law and Legal Theory is beautiful to witness. 

4.   You get to where you need to go a lot faster... you take a quick break, get in, get out and we’re both immensely satisfied. You know what I mean.

Dating someone in law school isn’t easy – there’s no question about that. Sacrifices are made, arguments are inevitable and emotions are always high. But let me tell you this: even when you come home from uni angry and stressed, when you lock yourself in your room for 12 hours every Sunday to study, and when you’re distracted with law instead of listening to me, you somehow make it worth it.


Anonymous is the partner of a Melbourne JD student

This piece was originally published in De Minimis in April 2015.

Other articles in this issue:
  • Let's Call a Spade a Spade
  • Hearing the Strength of Survivors Around Us
  • ​Book Review: The Master and the Margarita
Anon
26/3/2019 03:27:58 pm

I’m sorry to sound terrible, but this doesn’t sound like a very happy relationship at all

JD cynic
26/3/2019 03:44:44 pm

Getting real sick of law-student-exceptionalism. Stop encouraging law students to believe that their degree, problems and stress are the only things that matter - if that's the basis of your relationship it cannot be healthy. Can the author or someone else genuinely explain to me why dating a law student is so impossible to describe, or so radically different to dating any other masters student?

john badgery
26/3/2019 06:55:44 pm

we smarter

Mr. McChoakumchild's Castle
26/3/2019 10:29:57 pm

It's the vibe.

Besides, the law-student-partner goes (or comes, depending on your direction of travel) a lot faster than the others when he eats, shoots and leaves. (It's a safe bet the partner in question is a 'he'.)

Former JD
26/3/2019 04:40:57 pm

Thanks for sharing this. The stresses of the JD impact not just those in the support network such as their friends and family and of course their romantic partners.

I imagine the person I was dating through most of law school felt quite similarly to you at that time so it was actually a bit eerie reading this to reflect back on their experience from their perspective.

I wish you both the best and I hope that you're looking after your self-care and own interests beyond just being supportive to your partner. That said, they are probably more grateful to you than you would ever know. Hopefully they express that and are there for you when you need it too.

Lol
26/3/2019 06:58:12 pm

Shit ain’t that deep y’all. You’re not making an honourable ‘sacrifice’ by dating a law school student. You’re making excuses as to why it’s ok for your partner to not have an appropriate work-life balance, why it’s ok to be neglected, all the while pretending that you’re the martyr.

It’s just a degree.

take a break
26/3/2019 10:22:25 pm

Boy, commenters are harsh!

Strange Vibe
26/3/2019 11:43:27 pm

This article just has a weird tone - like it was a fantasy of a depressing relationship they would love to angst over and masichistly wish they had? seriously - locks themself in a bathroom multiple times to cry over their partner’s time commitments to studying law - the whole thing is just strange.

good luck
27/3/2019 06:34:57 am

I wish you all the best. You may, however, want to explore whether there are issues other than one partner being a law student. As others have said or implied, there's something off about this article.

For instance, to take your first point, if someone "leaves me nodding and smiling on the sidelines", that would bother me. A lot. I would not be "bringing a bag of sweet and sour popcorn to [the] next hangout" simply because I won't be at the next such hangout.

Phew
27/3/2019 08:33:35 am

I have a feeling this was written by a law student

But...
27/3/2019 10:22:08 am

Isn't this from 2015? https://www.deminimis.com.au/home/what-its-like-to-love-you

CHECK THE ARTICLE
27/3/2019 01:56:44 pm

It's a re-post of an old article

high journalistic standards
27/3/2019 03:27:09 pm

That nugget of information is placed at the end of the article. So the reader gets to it after having read the whole piece.

omg
27/3/2019 02:06:10 pm

Did De Minimis delete another comment here?! SMDH!

Please Stop
27/3/2019 04:40:32 pm

Dear De Minimis! Please be consistent in the application of your censorship policy.

lol
27/3/2019 06:48:09 pm

Yeah agree with most of the posters here. ItsI a hard degree but so is pretty much everything else. law students are not some ethereal race of humans who are exempt from normal standards of behaviour


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