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Hearing the Strength of Survivors Around Us

26/3/2019

 
Issue 4, Semester 1, 2019

XAVIER BOFFA

Content warning: The following article contains material related to sexual assault.

While it may have escaped the attention of most Australians, a fortnight ago Arizona Senator Martha McSally took the incredibly courageous step of sharing her experience of sexual violence with the World as part of a United States Senate armed services hearing on the prevention of sexual assault.
​

There is a great deal of significance to be found in this revelation’s coinciding with the week of International Women’s Day (March 8). And yet, we must not confine our concern for the substantial inequalities women still face, both in our own society and across the globe, to just one day a year.
The scourge of sexual violence against women is a great stain on our society that we must confront together 365 days a year. Senator McSally’s experience, and that of countless thousands upon thousands of other women, highlights just how much better our mothers, sisters, daughters, friends and neighbours deserve.

There is absolutely no question that Martha McSally is a strong woman. The first female fighter pilot to fly in combat, a respected Colonel, a valedictorian who also graduated first in her class at the AWC, and only the second woman to serve as Senator for Arizona: Martha McSally has accomplished things many men and women could never imagine.

This is not the first time Senator McSally has spoken openly about her experiences of sexual assault. In using her position of influence as a platform to share her story, she joins a growing group of strong, inspirational women whose bravery in coming forward has and will continue to help other survivors come to terms with the pain inflicted upon them by perpetrators who are almost always weak, cowardly men.

And yet, in spite of her great strength, even a powerful woman like Martha McSally struggled to overcome cultural and systemic barriers that further victimise far too many sexual assault survivors. “I blamed myself. I was ashamed and confused. I thought I was strong but felt powerless,” she revealed. “Like many victims, I felt like the system was raping me all over again.”

McSally is not the first senior US politician to come forward to share their experience as survivors of sexual violence. Only a few weeks earlier, her colleague Iowa Senator Joni Ernst disclosed that she too was raped in college and allegedly abused by her ex-husband.

It’s true that rape is an act of pure evil, but it’s a highly problematic misconception that the men who commit rapes are always mentally-unwell, maladjusted social misfits and violent psychopaths preying upon ‘vulnerable’ women who ‘could have done more’ to protect themselves.

That undeniably strong, powerful women like Senators McSally and Ernst can be raped should send a clear message to survivors that their experiences are not a sign of weakness.

It’s also a troubling misconception that most rapes occur between strangers. In reality, as many as 8 in 10 of the perpetrators of sexual violence are known to the person they assault. In reality, intimate partner violence causes more illness, disability and death than any other risk factor for Australian women aged 25–44.
The stark reality of sexual violence is all around us, even where we least expect to find it. Earlier this month, two Bayside men were convicted and imprisoned for raping a mutual female friend while she slept at one of the men’s home. It’s clear from her victim impact statement that these were two men she trusted more than anyone; two men who betrayed that trust in the most vile way imaginable.

There are no easy solutions to the systemic societal problems that underpin the often-ignored sexual violence epidemic in Australia. I certainly will not pretend to hold the answers. Of course, we need to throw the book at rapists and sexual predators – but punishment and denunciation are cold comfort to sexual assault survivors and no guarantee that patterns of sexual violence will disappear.

One fundamentally important piece of piece of the puzzle is that more needs to be done to increase public awareness of the extreme prevalence of sexual violence in our communities. As some of the most highly-educated members of our society, part of the responsibility for doing so lies with people like us.

More important still is to effect real cultural change by addressing toxic attitudes towards sex and gender within our society. At its core, I believe that young men need to understand that when a Man loves a woman, or another man, he doesn’t take advantage.
​

Perhaps most importantly, however, people in positions of influence within our society – people like those that many of us at MLS aspire to become – need to be prepared to hear the survivors of sexual violence around us; 365 days a year. If survivors like Martha McSally can come forward to make the world a safer place for women like them and countless others, each of us can and must do our bit to help them.

The Sexual Assault Crisis Line Victoria (1800 806 292) is a state-wide, after-hours, confidential, telephone crisis counselling service for people who have experienced both past and recent sexual assault.

​Xavier is a Second Year JD Student

Other articles in this issue:
  • Let's Call a Spade a Spade
  • What It's Like to Love You
  • Book Review: The Master and the Margarita
Maybe negative
26/3/2019 08:28:03 pm

I can't help but feel like Xavier only wrote this so when he runs for the Liberal party he can say he's a feminist

too many skeletons
26/3/2019 09:18:23 pm

https://www.smh.com.au/national/young-liberals-fight-causes-young-woman-to-seek-intervention-order-from-police-20171012-gyzxen.html

https://www.spectator.com.au/2019/01/let-january-26-remain-a-day-for-all-australians/

Not Xavier 'the Boff' Boffa
27/3/2019 10:51:40 pm

Don't like Xavier as much as the next person, but what is the issue with the second article?

spooky skeletons
27/3/2019 02:56:27 pm

Can't every one just leave this poor bloke alone? He has apologised for his past behaviour and he seems like a genuine dude now.

excuse me
27/3/2019 04:23:52 pm

Apologised for his behaviour? Xavier? He doesn't even acknowledge it, let alone apologise for it. Read his rants from last year.

Anatole France
26/3/2019 09:45:02 pm

"Stupidity is far more dangerous than evil, for evil takes a break from time to time, stupidity does not."

eye roll
27/3/2019 12:06:15 pm

Coming from Xavier, this article screams disingenuous. Did you actually write this to champion a cause for women, or just to chip away at the mountain of negative articles written about you in the mainstream media?

Just a friendly reminder that actions speak louder than words, and no amount of self-publication on DM is going to affect the Google search results associated with your name when you apply for clerkships and other jobs in the future.

In other words, "Young Liberals' fight causes young woman to seek intervention order from police" will not be toppled by a toothless article by you talking about violence against women in a tokenistic tip-of-the-hat to IWD. (Thank you, for mansplaining that family violence disproportionately affects women, and that this is a real issue that real women face). We women of MLS are already very aware of the 'troubling' and 'highly problematic misconceptions' surrounding violence against women, which you seem to have only just discovered.

Your beloved LNP has also done sweet fuck-all about these issues while still trying to capitalise each IWD by paying it lip-service. Are you personally willing to condemn ScoMo's completely abhorrent comments in his IWD speech? Y'know, the one where he said he wants to see "women rise", as long as it doesn't come at the expense of anyone else?


Xavier Boffa
28/3/2019 09:42:55 am

Hi,

You very clearly don't know me at all, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you'd never even met me.

If you'd like to change that, I'd love to hear more about your point of view - we both might learn something from the experience (or at least, I'm sure I could).

Xavier

Eye roll 2.0
28/3/2019 02:15:48 pm

I don’t need to meet you to understand your views, considering you publish them, in depth, online.

Please don’t pretend like you’re a beacon of compassion and understanding, or that you empathise with women or other minorities.

Your opinion piece in the Spectator regarding Australia Day is the most one-sided, pitiful excuse for journalism I’ve ever read. At no point do you consider what is would feel like to read that as an Indigenous Australian, or acknowledge the validity of arguments in favour of changing the date, yet you write about ‘inclusivity’ as if celebrating January 26 doesn’t exclude the vast majority of Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islanders.

Your selfishness is amplified by the fact you cannot even consider that all the things that you love about this country could simply be celebrated on another, more appropriate date that doesn’t symbolise the beginning of disenfranchisement for this country’s most disenfranchised social group.

That’s why everything you write is coloured by your conservatism, Xavier. You cannot simply act as if you care about the plight of women and the harassment they face, yet turn a blind eye to the struggle of other social groups as if each minority exists in a vacuum.

A single, dispassionate article thrown together in 30 minutes by someone with an obvious political agenda will not change how others perceive you. If you actually volunteered with women’s shelters or offered support to women’s causes in a way that wasn’t mere armchair advocacy, and contributed something real, maybe that perception would shift.

It takes a huge amount of courage for any woman to make a formal complaint to police about a man’s conduct, especially when that man is at the apex of a political organisation. You can’t blame women at this university for taking anything you write with a grain of salt.

Xavier Boffa
29/3/2019 04:06:21 pm

Thank you for the feedback nonetheless, I'll try to take it onboard as best I can.

In re your last observation, all I can say is that I understand your position and I wish it were true that all people acted with the sort of courage and dignity to which you allude. Thorough investigations by Victoria Police and the University fully exonerated me of the allegations made against me.

for @SPOOKY SKELETONS (above)
29/3/2019 06:38:48 pm

^^^ Is this the sort of 'apology' you were referring to?

Please
28/3/2019 12:25:37 pm

For the people posting terrible things about this guy, can you actually take a moment out of your day to have a real life chat with him. Don't believe everything written in the media. Make up your own mind as to his character by making a genuine attempt to get to know Xavier.

difficult
28/3/2019 12:49:23 pm

Thanks for sounding reasonable. But I have already made up my mind. Here's an article he wrote last year:

https://www.deminimis.com.au/home/a-more-civil-public-discourse

I paid close attention to his article and his responses to comments. I just can't agree with his worldview. It's sheer hypocrisy. A subtle form of hypocrisy, but hypocrisy nonetheless.

John Doe
10/4/2019 11:51:43 pm

This guy has spiky hair and hates women.... omg so bad. No place on 21sf century.

Heinz Fritz
10/4/2019 11:55:01 pm

Xavier Boffa again attempting to salvage his sullied reputation.

He should’ve thought about this before he treated women so badly.

Utterly disingenuous. A total fraud. Readers of this magazine are far smarter than Mr Boffa gives them credit for


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