Vol 12, Issue 10
You know which Adelaide Team didn’t lose the Grand Final miserably in front of an enormous Melbourne crowd crowing for their blood? The Women’s Team. Although, they played in the Gold Coast….as an opener to the round one of a men’s match….on a stadium that had been danced dry at an Adele concert three weeks before. But I’m sure the men had it tough. No you delightful anonymous commenters, I’m not man-bashing football. I will reason with myself - watch:
Me: The women’s sport needs to grow slowly!
Me: I hear you, great things take time, baby steps, set yourself up to succeed……but like an opener for a men’s round 1? Really?
Me: No no I get that but they just can’t draw the crowds, nice shirt by the way is that topshop?
Me: For sure, except that didn’t they have to turn people away at the gates for all the matches? Dude thanks for noticing I’m classing up my look.
Me: Yeah but that’s because it was a novelty this year, they need to consistently draw crowds. It’s working, classy af.
Me: Ok yeah I can see that, we’re all excited, but will it last is that what you’re saying? It’s just that I’ve noticed every single female human I know seemed to play footy this year…plus didn’t the AFLW just announce 2 more women’s teams for 2019 and 4 more the year after? It looks like more than novelty or hype…almost like a legitimate league… You know you inspired my look by the way?
Me: Now obviously, I come from a place of wanting women to succeed…
Me: …but they are never going to be as good as the men, they are biologically weaker, they haven’t been playing the game long enough, this sport requires rough and tumble. Why do we have to pretend the games are equal when they just aren’t? Also I’m really flattered, it takes an extra hour in the morning but it’ll be worth it one day when Kirby J walks by and compliments that stiff collar
Me: You’d kick like a girl if you hadn’t been able to play past the age of 12! These women take care of kids, study, work and play professional sport. There is no logical reason the women’s teams have to be like or identical to the men’s teams - I think it’s differences that make it interesting….but by that same token women’s teams like the Matilda’s, the Southern Stars and the Rugby Sevens have all risen to the greatest height of their sport, in some cases much higher than the men’s teams! All with lower…
Me: But what about…omg sorry were you done?
Me: Oh my bad was I lecturing? No one wants that, I was going to add something if you don’t mind?
Me: No no please, it was informative I just had a thought but I can wait
Me: Thanks I’m on a role but keen to hear what you wanted to say. I was just going to add that all these women’s teams have had these golden moments on much lower salaries, often with multiple jobs and smaller sponsorship deals - so imagine a social experiment where we give the women everything the men have, including supplements, and then ask if they’re good enough?
Me: I can see your point, but the fans demand elite level football and let’s face it I’m all for inclusion but they just suck!
Me: Well 13 year old boys suck too but if we poor enough money, love and mum’s spaghetti into them they turn into Dusty Martin!
Me: Yeah yeah but do women have to get into everything. They make bloody great ice skaters and gymnasts, stick to that. I sometimes feel like we just hand out freebies to women because they’re….women …also the opening barb about the Crows loss on Saturday is a low blow, that stings!
Me: But my mate Daisy Pearce does not want to ice skate, she wants to play footy! As for the freebies, what’s free about working as a barista on top of training round the clock just to get to the World Cup!? I’d ask you to consider - at least in the context of the AFL - the serious advantage the men’s teams have and the serious catching up women have to do, not just in sport but across multiple facets of their lives. What’s a little support in the grand scheme of things? And speaking of grand schemes, isn’t the whole point that watching your own kind take a magnificent speccy makes us all ‘dream larger’. Oh my bad, too soon too soon. Maybe consider following the women’s crows, much more satisfying
Me: That’s not a bad idea actually….I’m going to marinate with these interesting new thoughts you’ve presented. Thanks! I don’t feel at all ‘man-hated’ - this was almost pleasant
Me: Thanks! I don’t feel mansplained and I really appreciate you listening. But omg did Kirbz really speak to you? Does his breath smell like dissent?
Olympia Ward is a second-year JD student and the Secretary/Treasurer of De Minimis
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