Which future unemployed lawyer are you? You will not believe what the upcoming recession has in store for you!

Issue 8, Volume 17

LAUREN TAYLOR

This fun quiz will let you know what you and your friends will be up to in a year’s time! Awesome!

Tally up your scores as you go, and we’ll let you know what type of lawyer in the line at Centrelink you’ll be!

Image: Adeolu Eletu on Unsplash

What was your favourite subject at MLS?

1. Corporations Law
2. Criminal Law
3. Administrative Law
4. Ethics

Of the following, what was your favourite movie?

1. The Wolf of Wall Street
2. The Godfather
3. I don’t watch movies
4. Erin Brockovich

Which Australian politician is your fave?

1. Malcolm Turnbull
2. Peter Dutton
3. Bill Shorten
4. Sarah Hanson-Young

Where is your dream holiday destination?

1. New York
2. Colombia
3. Canberra
4. Sweden

Who is your favourite fictional lawyer?

1. Harvey Spectre
2. Saul Goodman
3. I don’t know of any fictional lawyers
4. Atticus Finch

What’s your favourite alcoholic beverage?

1. Cocaine
2. Beer
3. Wine
4. Daiquiri

What’s your favourite suburb of Melbourne?

1. Kew
2. Werribee
3. Camberwell
4. Fitzroy

You can take one of the following to a desert island, what are you taking?

1. RM Williams
2. $500 cash
3. LexisNexis Concise Tax Legislation 2020
4. Tote bag

Score: 8-14

Congratulations, you’re an unemployed corporate lawyer! You failed to get a job in M&A and couldn’t move into insolvency law because the available spots were already taken by existing struggling M&A lawyers. The firms weren’t hiring because of the global downturn, but that’s okay – you’re able to watch the markets and read the business news at home as if it were a full-time job anyway now.

Score: 15-20

Great news, you’ve made it as an out of work criminal lawyer! Don’t fret, you can still meet what could have been your clients at the local Centrelink, sadly lockdown meant that crime didn’t pay for them either! You fill your days watching reruns of Judge Judy and dreaming of one day representing the next scandalous Catholic bishop on trial.

Score: 21-26

​We’re happy for you – you’re now a government lawyer without a job! The government deficit was just too much after this stimulus package, and the government cut their least essential workers – the legal team! But don’t worry too much, this way you’re always out the door by 5 and your long government lunches can now be even longer! Filling out endless forms to Centrelink should hopefully scratch your bureaucratic itch until there are finally more jobs available in a few years time.

Score: 27-32

Kudos to you – is what we might say if this was LinkedIn and you’d just secured yourself the job of your dreams as a human rights lawyer! But now there’s even less money and funding for you to pursue your virtuous dream and you’re somehow making even less than you would have! But don’t stress too much, now you’ve got more time to post political statements on Insta and browse the web looking for ethical fashion bargains!

Lauren is the pen name of a third-year JD student who dreams of one day writing full time for Buzzfeed!