Issue 5, Semester 1, 2019
DEFINITELY A LAW STUDENT
Describing what it’s like to date someone who is NOT studying law is like trying to see air, which I certainly don’t do in the suffocating corners of level 3, the one pot plant besieged with the impossible task of churning out oxygen to our gasping demands. I struggle to find the words to describe how much I love you outside of syllogisms (You are great. I love everything great. Therefore, I must love you). Thankfully, many artists have done this labour of love (in so many ways). Let me direct you to the dulcet tones of Boney M’s outro in their beatific banger ‘Sunny’:
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
You are not a law student. It’s certainly not all you are, because you have an enviable work/life balance. I cannot tell you the number of times it has pained me to say ‘no’ when you ask ‘drinks with my friends?’. I lied, I can tell you. It was only once. Summer break. Very extenuating circumstances. All other times I enjoy spending my nights watching true crime documentaries (it’s to supplement my study, as I have told you numerous times. I’m a law student. I’m very busy).
I hate that I notice everything and remember what you said to me on the 8th of October (you said ‘how was your day?’ but I felt it was said a little passive aggressively and I’m certainly not overthinking this). You think I don’t notice these things because I’m so busy and stressed because I’m a LAW student? I’m doing a degree predicated on noticing details. I hate that my incredibly sharp and astute mind decimates you every step. I hate more so that I can’t micromanage your life as I would like to – because I am a type-A law student of course – but that I have to love you and leave you to your independent agency.
Dating someone who doesn’t study law is difficult because you just don’t understand. You just don’t get it. Sorry but you just don’t know what it’s like. Ugh, I wish I was you. So easy. Anyway, yes sorry rather than empathise with your frustrations, I just have to say that I am ensconced in the impenetrable, mysterious, aloof shroud of being a Law Student. For that is all I am.
But it’s not all bad. Here’s some benefits I derive from our contract relationship:
1. Dating a NON-LAW student means I have someone who loves me enough to listen to me complain for hours on end and then fall asleep exhausted over how many hours I spend complaining about all the things I have to do but have failed to do in the process of complaining. Thank you for being a good listener, not exercising your high school debating and one semester of mooting to counter my vapid gripes. Your anodyne approach to my stress means I don’t have to really tackle the issues myself, I can just dump them on you.
2. Dating a NOT A LAW STUDENT means I have diverse interests. I am a diverse human being with a number of honed skills and capabilities that are an asset to you. It came as a shock the first time you reminded me that no one outside of this building gives a baby’s fart about this building. It surprised me when I re-discovered my interests outside of championing law student exceptionalism and innovation and diversity in the law. I’d totally forgotten I enjoy cooking food, reading for pleasure, tending to gardens, painting, caring about other people etc. I mean, I can’t really put any of this on my CV (prima facie: what’s the point?) but my pleasure centres do tingle below the dust that’s settled over my personality.
3. Dating a DEFINITELY NOT STUDYING LAW means that your standards must be so low to have to exercise the choice to date a law student. Why in the world would anyone date a law student? All we do is stress, study, cry if we’re lucky.
4. Dating a FLABBERGASTING ENTITY THAT ISN’T LAW means I am dating someone. Honestly, I’d date anything with legal personality at this point. I do know that this can’t last, because I will eventually marry my career (does that have legal personality? Does it matter?). I was convinced I was a robot, as law students are wont to be. Beep beep boop. Anyway, it is nice to experience this thing called ‘love’ and what not.
Dating someone isn’t easy, law student or not (though it’s probably harder for you to date me than for me to date you, as law students are notoriously abrasive and petulant partners). Nevertheless, I am certain that the ad idem consensus between us is that this is a mutually beneficial partnership. I love you.
Definitely A Law Student is definitely a Law Student.
Other articles in this issue: