Volume 19, Issue 6 Melbourne Law School has won its bid to host Season 11 of the post-apocalyptic horror television series. The quiet Parkville building has beaten out a desert hideout in Death Valley and an abandoned medical facility in Chernobyl for the honour. Director Julius Joyce told De Minimis that location scouting for this sort of thing doesn’t usually involve university campuses, since residents tend to be too upbeat. “But that wasn’t an issue with this place,” said Joyce. “The law building is great because we don’t have to look far to find zombie extras. You students really know how to play the part.” A little hurt, I raised my eyebrows and asked what he meant by that. “Oh, you know. Lurching. Groaning. Zombie things.” The decision to host the show on campus has been met with some controversy, however. A spokesperson for the LSS says that AMC is taking advantage of students struggling with a wave of mid-sem assignments. “Those poor first years have just had to write their first essay for Torts. The second years have it even worse with the OLAM. Us third years just want it all to be over, but that’s another story. The point is, it’s not fair for the law school to put students in thrall to corporate interests for its own gain. We would never do that.” In an exclusive interview, James Joyce was quick to agree. “Aren’t their struggles just so authentic? Ah, to be young. This morning, I went for a walk through the lower cryp- excuse me, the library. One student glared at me with red, bloodshot eyes. I tried to say hi, but she put down her coffee and snarled at me with brown-stained teeth. Of course, I had to ask her if a hangover from last night’s autumn social wasn’t making things too bad. She said: “never mind the hangover, it’s the sobriety that’s killing me.” The multi-millionaire director smiled politely. “You see, you law students have a lot more in common with zombies than you may think. Both of you are always talking about how you need more brains. One are grey-faced, soulless husks that wander the earth chasing mundane and meaningless short-term goals in an attempt to make up for their lost humanity. But when you think about it, zombies are like that too.” Joe is a 2nd year JD student. The views in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of De Minimis or its Editors. Comments are closed.
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