MLS Connections vol. 3

Issue 9, Semester 1, 2019

To the lofty girl who is uncannily everywhere I turn,
 
There is no deep connection here, just feelings I now seek desperately to rid myself of. Thank you for your modicum of basic human courtesy. Had I known it to be in such short supply I might've saved myself the trouble. I have no intention of conversing with you at Law Ball. Enjoy your evening!
 
IN REPAIR IN RIPPONLEA
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Editor’s note: This submission was received shortly before Law Ball last week

To literally all of my classmates

Do none of you know how to shower? Or are you just using rancid meat as shampoo? Please people, I know that there are lower standards of personal presentation this time of semester, but have a modicum of pity for the people who have to sit next to you in those three hour seminars. 
​
OLFACTORY IN OLINDA
​<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Dear Olfactory

We too have noticed the rising scents in the building lately. We can only attribute this to the launch of the new fragrance Crunch Time by Calvin Klein. Also whilst we love your keeping with the alliterative sign-offs, the commute from Olinda every day must be a nightmare.

The Editors
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3