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To the girl whose leg I threw up on during last semester’s end of exams party:
My bad. You were super lovely and were just trying to help by escorting me to the ladies room. You led me into the stall and patted me on the back as I spewed out the contents of my stomach. I can’t remember when my hot vom ended up all over your leg, but it definitely happened, and you were such a good sport about it. Unfortunately, that is all I remember about you. As such, I have been unable to contact you to issue a formal apology for my behaviour. The very least I can do is buy you a coffee one of these days. This time I will be sober, and will probably not be so disgusting. If you would like to take me up on this offer of free coffee, please contact dm.editor@outlook.com Sincerely, Sloppy Drunk
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