Law School Horoscopes

By Mystic Mary QC, a anonymous qualified charlatan.

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Aquarius
Aquarius was the water bearer, and this is very indicative of the role you will play as you make your way through the first weeks of law school. With post-LMR drinks, law camp, and garden party all coming up, your friends might seem a bit the worse for wear and in need of some hydration. You’ll be the top bloke making sure that they don’t get Cole v South Tweed Heads level drunk.  

Pisces
You want a new romantic affair, but stay away from those within your LMR, Mercury is indicating you should be looking outside your current social circle. You might be feeling like you’re floundering around like a fish out of water. This could either be in the academic sense or a notion of what’s to come at law camp. However, your spirits will be brightened by a new person (or certain dog(tor)) entering your life in the next week.

Aries
You are not afraid of being unique, and you are not ashamed to be interested in the things that other people would find boring. You probably have read all of Laying Down the Law, and you likely genuinely enjoyed it. While this may paint you as a bit of an oddball, your uniqueness is one of the best qualities to have in law school. Embrace this. Be the Kirby in a room full of Gummows.

Taurus
Now is the time for some healing. Impatience is your worst attribute and you may be just too keen to jump headfirst into the whole law school experience. However, this may mean that your mind is cluttered and you’re not being clear in your requests. This could cause last minute minor dramas that irk you more than they should – Porta Via getting your coffee order wrong isn’t the end of the world (Bar Scopa is better anyway).

Gemini
You may have felt like an unorganised mess throughout LMR. Whether it be rocking up late to class or not quite getting a grasp of the readings, you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and your wallet has taken a hit because of it. Too many trips to Seven Seeds have left your smashed avo and cold-drip cravings satiated but your wallet a lot lighter.

Cancer
You are known for speaking your mind and being suspicious of new people, to the point that you might almost be too truthful. In a time when you’re meeting a bunch of new people at once, this might get you into a bit of trouble. While some people may be spewing fake news, it is not always the most tactful thing to be the person calling them out.

Leo
You consider yourself a natural born leader, and the prospect of impending LSS first year rep and GSA co-opt positions are making you excited. However, the downside to this natural effervescent energy is the danger of having a cluttered calendar filled with things you’ve overcommitted yourself too. You may have clashed with the more chilled-out members of your LMR stream, but don’t be afraid to take a leaf from their book and calm the heck down.

Virgo
You are logical and ordered and have probably already have started making notes for your Semester One subjects. You’re that annoying organised person who’s already ahead in the readings but you don’t want to seem that way. When another person says “ugh I couldn’t even finish the readings last night” you immediately chime in “oh same!”. But you’re not fooling anyone.

Libra
You probably think you have the ideal sense of justice and fairness - at least until recently. You are easily frustrated and do not like the feeling of losing an argument. These personality traits have not been a good combination with heated class discussions. Your opinions on whether a judge has used policy reasons to justify their reasoning, while well argued, are not always right.

Scorpio
Mysterious and dominant, people have been drawn to you since day one of LMR. You aren’t afraid of controversy and have often played devil’s advocate during class discussions just to rile someone up. Just make sure that these adversaries aren’t taking it too personally or else you might land yourself in hot water.

Sagittarius
Be wary of sounding like a know-it-all. Just because you did VCE legal studies does not mean you are going to be a champion at law school. You’re probably used to thinking you’re the smartest person in the room, so LMR might have been a bit of a shock. Focus on expanding your social circle and exploring new hobbies and interests. Pathfinder events will be your best friend.

Capricorn
You have probably butted heads with a couple of people during LMR discussions already. The comforting thing to remember is that no one really cares about what probably aren’t very insightful opinions. Remember that you are only at the beginning of a learning journey. You have a tendency to be focused on the one thing and sometimes fail to see the overall picture. Try to apply this to LMR, and do not stress if you do not ‘top’ the subject, because – well – you can’t.

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