Five photos of Your Cat That Will Make You Say “That’s Not My Cat, That’s Renowned Jurist and Former Justice of the High Court of Australia, Michael Kirby”

Issue 6, Volume 18

ANONYMOUS

I open this article, excited to see some cute pics of my puss – but wait! This isn’t a picture of Daisy, my tabby cat. This is clearly a picture of the Hon. Michael Kirby AC CMG, taken in the High Court of Australia.

​Damn. Foiled. But not to worry! I’m sure the next picture will show Daisy cutely lounging in the sun, yawning. Oh, God Damn It! That’s not Daisy at all, that’s clearly a photograph of Justice Michael Kirby, taken after his annual lecture at Melbourne Law School in 2019. What’s the big idea?

​Well, I came here for cats, and so far, I have been very disappointed. As much of an icon as Justice Kirby is, as the first openly gay person to serve on Australia’s highest bench, if the next picture doesn’t feature a furry pal….Ugh. Did you seriously think I wouldn’t notice? I remember seeing this photo in the newspaper, so I KNOW FOR A FACT this photo was taken when M.K. was wedded to long-time partner Johan van Vloten, in a small but moving ceremony.

​I know, I know, Michael Kirby again right? This time, I’m not falling for…wait, what?? This isn’t a picture of Michael Kirby. If I’m not mistaken, the person depicted is legendary tennis player Ivan Lendl, pictured during his 1984 victory at the French Open. This photo, like Lendl’s come-from-behind victory, was truly unexpected.

​Now then, I’ve played your silly game. May I PLEASE see a picture of Daisy now? No? Well, I suppose if you really squint, the image below could be a bubblegum replica of my little chubby fur ball. I know in my heart, though, that this picture is a piece of anonymous “Kirby” fan art submitted to De Minimis in May 2020. Oh well, it’ll have to do.

Max Ferguson is a second year JD student and the Managing Editor of De Minimis​.