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Fight the power, take the stairs

18/9/2018

 
Week 9, Semester 2

​By Ted Worland

I was talking to a skinny American guy at a party when I first heard about elevator override codes. As he explained, holding down specific button combinations as you select your floor will program the elevator to go there directly, skipping all other floors on the way. The codes were apparently included for emergency services, but are also abused by clued-in misanthropes.

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Just about every authority on the subject denies the existence of elevator override codes—but is this because they don’t exist, or is that just want they want you to think? I asked the guy if he’d ever tried it for himself and, affronted, he told me he wasn’t the sort of person to take advantage like that.

I’m not either, which is why I waited till after hours to test all the elevators at uni. It might not shock you that, despite trying different suggested button combinations in different models of elevator across campus, I am unable to positively confirm the existence of elevator override codes. It’s tough to prove a negative, but even so I ended up riding up and down far longer than was probably necessary. Deep down, I wanted so badly for the story to be true.
​

This is why I think these rumours persist even when supported by nothing more than secondhand anecdotes and baseless speculation. We’ve all had the experience of feeling passed over by the elevator, and, while it’s not exactly pleasant to think we may be being screwed over by a shadowy cabal of elevator-hacking pizza delivery guys, it’s actually worse to know we’re the victim of a faceless, automated system, the processes of which remain unknowable, inscrutable. The elevator reaches our floor and the doors stay closed, revealing nothing.
Big Bazza
18/9/2018 10:34:19 pm

Your friend may be untrustworthy, but the elevators in the law building are moreso. I don't trust a faceless, automated system that pauses at imprecise intervals and proceeds in the opposite direction to which it is directed. The cabal is there, and it is the reason the elevators are less automated than an automatron should ever be.

Just Out of Curiosity
19/9/2018 03:55:41 am

If you were the only one using the lifts at the time, how would you know if a floor has been 'skipped' - since there's no one stopping the elevator before your destination arrived? Did you, for instance, have a collaborator waiting to interrupt your journey before you got to your intended floor?

This is some serious business, confronting this faceless, shadowy cabal. I am glad that people are finally finding the courage to speak up about the real issues. Good on ya, Ted!

Any Takers?
19/9/2018 05:16:45 am

For too long we have been deceived by the elevator community into giving up on important health and welfare concerns. We must fight back. People of Stairs Lunch, anyone?

Shhhhhhh!!!
19/9/2018 06:31:20 am

Don't tell Jackson!


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  • Home
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