Equity Uncle Introduction to 2018

EQUITY UNCLE

​Welcome back little Law Darlings! Equity had a delightful break - thank you for asking. Equity has a tan. However, Equity’s gallivanting with the Lord Chancellor was cut short as the ever-attentive, overly enthusiastic editors at De Minimis have cracked the proverbial whip and demanded more devilishly clever and fantastically informative articles. Indeed, the eager beavers in the editorial team had the audacity to suggest that Equity needs an introduction. Outrageous. ​

Who the Hell is Equity Uncle?
Equity could be offended by the implication that you don’t already know who Equity is. However, Equity delights in talking about Equity. Equity is the glue, the gumption and the ganache on top of the cake that is the Law.  Equity is like a superhero minus ugly tights. Equity will not suffer a wrong without a remedy! Equity will not, however, indulge lazy volunteers who did not pay attention in LMR; the Court of Chancery sees all. Open your textbooks. De Minimis editors like to describe Equity Uncle as the Law School’s ‘Agony Aunt’. Equity detests this description. Equity is neither agonising nor maternal.   
Can anyone ask Equity Uncle a question?
Queries, quandaries, questions, requests, enquiries are Equity’s bag. Equity looks to intent rather than form coz Equity is cool like that -  whether you write like Shakespeare or Slim Shady, Equity sees all as equal. Except unclean hands -  lather rinse repeat.
Ok, so does Equity have an answer for everything?
Equity looks at that as done which ought to be done and questions ought to be answered, chocolate to be eaten, Juris Dogtors to be well trained so as not to pee on Equity’s carpets.  
Well then, here’s the hardest question of all then: will I survive Law School?
Equity was once asked to attend a dinner by both Justice Kirby and Justice Heydon on the same night. Equity has already answered the hardest question of all time.
As for Law School Equity recommends the same emergency survival pack for all first years:

1. Flashlight, useful for illuminating legal quandaries and any chocolate fallen under the couches at the Nook.
   
2. Duct tape, useful for gagging fellow students mid soliloquy. Delay defeats equity and soliloquies defeat a 4:15pm finish on a lecture.
   
3. Sanitizer for any unclean hands and for your desks. Equity once sat at a desk that had been drooled on. Equity set the desk on fire.
   
4. Ventolin, the stairs are inequitable. Equity uses the lift.
   

If you need Equity, Equity will be chasing pigeons on the grass. Pigeons are a wrong without a remedy.

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