Dear Learned Friend

6/10/2021

Volume 20, Issue 10

Dear Ousted and Offline,

This question is predicated on lawyers and law students not only having the time to socialise but wanting to. This is incorrect. Therefore, there are no secret social channels for lawyers beyond the company Slack group and Microsoft Teams chat. If you are thirsting for some kind of outlet, the cesspool that is Twitter is ready and waiting for your extremely unimaginative and uncontroversial auspol opinions.

Want to talk to your friends and family? Make the bold move and pick up the phone.

Somewhat sincerely,
Your Learned Friend

Not a firm representative

6/10/2021 07:58:04 pm

If you join us at ‘insert firm’ you will have a great social life! Our team of friendly and outgoing lawyers love to have fun while laying down the law! You will only need to work 72 hours a week (60 weekly billable hours as a modest and totally narrow rad target) and in return will receive 5 minutes of time every fortnight on the firm’s ping-pong table!

‘Insert firms’ culture is unique! And we are proud of it! So come and join us at ‘insert firm’, the firm where lawyers socialise!

harry

13/10/2021 01:37:50 pm

You guys need to wake up to the disaster you are walking into.

Basically, if you haven't finished in the top 20% of your first year, you need to drop out. You are not going to get a job in law, in fact, you are not going to get any job.

If you read the fine print of your law school's job statistics, you will notice that they are selectively compiled, in that they chase up the elite graduates and make sure they are counted, whereas the rest are just compiled from the random survey (which the employed are much more likely to send in anyway).

If you are not top 20% after first year, you are likely looking at a lifetime of unemployment, with a 140k (non dischargeable!) debt hung round your neck.

A law degree is also not 'versatile' - in fact it actively stops others from hiring you. You'll have to remove it from your resume.

I know none of you will listen, in fact you all think you are special snowflakes etc, but you'll sorely regret not dropping out in a few years when you are permanently unemployed, have to remove the scarlet letter law degree from your resume, hopelessly in debt etc. Please listen- if not top 20% after first year, its over!

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