De Minimis Columnist Once More Disappoints Readers

Volume 19, Issue 12

​Anonymous

Week 12 can be a brutal time at the Melbourne Law School. Some lucky students begin their QUIET retreat to beach houses in Noosa, Portsea, or Byron Bay for “some quiet space.” 

But for the unwashed masses, it must suffice to allow the filth to pile up our living rooms and kitchens as we begin to bury ourselves in practice exams.

Of course, De Minimis’ offices are no exception to this filth – and I am not talking about the stuff we publish on our website.  

Deep within our subterranean lair beneath the university, the palest and thinnest among us – starved from any sort of nutritious eating – have become near-indistinguishable from the white rats.  

But that’s okay. Unlike holding a position of leadership within a socially valuable enterprise – like the LSS – the best part about being a columnist is that one does not need to show one’s face. 

Come to think of it, even the term ‘columnist’ seems a bit far-fetched; a journalistic bid for respect from perhaps the least self-respecting writers within the student body. 

But alas, here we are. It is a cold Thursday morning. The law school edges towards exams. The city towards lockdown. 

And I have nothing else to write. 

See you on the other side, friends! 

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