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Volume 19, Issue 10 Those who answer every single question in class have announced they will partner with those who stay silent and pretend to be writing notes to avoid answering to pressure lecturers to, “stop asking so many damn questions,” by the end of 2021. According to the answerers, this decision was motivated by, “just feeling bad for flexing my extensive legal knowledge,” and, “making those silent noobs look stupid every week.” A spokesperson for the borderline silent monks said that, “This really benefits everyone. I swear we know the answers every time, we just don’t feel the need to be so arrogant by answering every single question that’s asked like our more talkative friends.” The leader of the ‘How else can I prove I’m smart and not an imposter if I don’t answer every question’ party has expressed concern over this initiative, stating, “It’s just not fair. The whole class needs to know that I know the answer. They need to see me as smarter than them. Answering questions is what I live for.” Members of the ‘Wait, you guys actually go to class?’ party have shown overwhelming support for the initiative citing, “Well I mean, it’s not like I show up anyway. I already feel superior enough by not wasting my time in those classes,” as a key motivator. However, it is extremely unlikely the alternatively named ‘I can just get the notes from one of those stupid attenders’ party will be bothering to provide any meaningful support for the partnership. The impact of the partnership long-term is currently unknown, but as all parties are confident they are superior to the others, the viability of the partnership remains doubtful. More to come. Tim is a first-year student. This week's winner of De Minimis' 'Articles Against Real News' competition wins a $50 book voucher.
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December 2021
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