Blast from the Past

12/3/2019

Issue 2, Semester 1, 2019

VARIOUS AUTHORS

For anybody considering a career on the editorial board of this illustrious publication, you should be warned of one of our more secretive and sinister traditions. Upon retiring, it is customary for the outgoing Editorial Board to depart on an expedition into the depths of the De Minimis Archives, located deep in the bowels of our level 5 office, in the hopes of recovering some treasure or manuscript lost to history. Some months ago, after provisioning themselves with victuals and fortified rum, and sharing one last tear-laden goodbye with family and sweethearts, last year’s team turned their backs on the sun and marched bravely into those mephitic caverns. This morning, a single survivor returned, malnourished and delirious, before expiring some hours later from an exotic malady. Clutched in their rictus grip, a handful of pages torn from past issues. In the interest of history, we present them here, a fleeting glimpse into the De Minimis of decades ago.

Life of a Law Student, circa 1949

The Devil and the Lawyer
Circa 1962

The Devil came to earth one day
And into the court house wended his way
Just as an attorney with a very grave face
Was proceeding to argue the point in a case
Now a lawyer his majesty had never seen
For to his dominions none had ever been
And he felt very curious, the reason to know
Why none had been sent to the regions below
It was the fault of his agents, his majesty thought
Why none of these lawyers had ever been caught
And for his own pleasure, he had a desire
To come to earth and the reason enquire
Well the lawyer who rose with a visage so grave
Made out his opponent a consummate knave
And the old devil was so greatly amused
To hear the attorney so greatly abused
As soon as the speaker came to a close
The counsel opposing them fiercely rose
And heaped such abuse on the head of the first
And made him a villain of all men the worst
Thus they quarrelled, contended, and argued so long
‘Twas hard to determine the one who was wrong
And concluding he’d heard enough of the fuss
Old Nick turned away and soliloquized thus:
If all they have said to each other be true
The devil has surely been robbed of his due
I am satisfied now, it is all very well
That lawyers would ruin the morals of hell

Letters to the Editor
Circa 1960

Dear Sir,
   Would it be too simple an explanation to suggest that the noise occasioned by the banging of both doors every time a person goes in or out the library could be effectively muffled by placing a strip of sponge rubber down the inside of the door jam. The squeak has been effectively dealt with but I do not think the bang will be stopped unless this is done.
                           Yours hopefully,
                               J.S – D.M
                   ******
We agree – there is too much banging going on around the Law Library.
                           - Editors

Report on the Annual Law Conference
Circa 1958

On the first day a T.V. identity influenced students so much that they started a mild poker game in which, toward the end they dealt bottles and drank cards. Our learned Immediate Past President was also observed putting the rubbish bin to an unmusical if not entirely inconsistent use. As the students were going to bed, Peter Steiner’s alarm clock, which is very loud, started ringing. From concealment in the undergrowth surrounding the guest house, the local policemen thought that this was a special riot signal, in code, from Division 24. Within an hour, 50 constabulary and several divisions of soldiers had arrived. The students fought well and a truce was finally declared. The alarm clock was taken into custody.

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