1960s - Stop Trying To Make Fetch Happen

Issue 0, Volume 19
 
​The first extract is from a 1963-4 edition and the second from 1968. They exemplify De Minimis’ transition towards light-heartedness and Mean Girl-esque gossip. Hard news was old news and satire was on trend.

RUMORS TO BE QUASHED
 
~    that someone was found working in the Law Library last week. We have been told that this will not be allowed to happen again. Indeed if necessary, workmen will be brought in, fans left running, books thrown all over the desks and lights broken to prevent any further such outbursts.
 
~    Dr. Brett says De Minimis does not always misquote him - but only sometimes when its facts are not correct does he think so when in fact the facts are correct but may later be proved to be wrong although this cannot be started dogmatically unless this statement itself is reported incorrectly or unless it is read correctly although not in fact correct.
Anyone who can follow this advanced process of reasoning, would be welcome to work as an associate of Dixon C. J.
 
~    Marcia Forsters IQ is not 17. Recent tests established that it is well into the twenties.
 
~    Mr. [__]althams hobby is learning Latin phrases by rote.

~    A sequel to Brett “The life & times of Lort Coleridge” is being put out soon. It will be entitled “The collected judgements of Mr. Justice Boothby” Both books contain numerous footnotes.
 
~    that a certain law school blonde was acquired by adverse possesion. We are not sure if rights acrue under this for a long user.
 
~    1961 Argus Medal Winner, Fred Ellinghaus is this year going for the Harry Curtis Trophy. He has decided to concentrate on sex instead.
 
~    Phil Cummins is taking his own supply of cake along to Petting Sessions this year.
 
~    That John King has some say in the knighting of Sir Robert.
 
~    the Housing Commission has placed a condemned sign on the northern side of the Law School.

~~~

RUMOURS TO BE QUASHED
 
That Dave Power likes the song “The Bosses Daughter”, and that the Portsea Hotel may be missing a few beers on his account.
 
That Hal Todd thinks Neil Ogge is “super-sprig”.
 
That our prediction that Sue Lander had tangled the Knott was true. Stay tuned for further tip-offs.
 
That Pam Darling is Don McCallum’s “Dorothy Dix”.
 
That Brian McMahon failed some subjects but passed Carlton with honours, and that he was seen looking for a non-existent Terry Board at Poynton’s after the property exam.
 
That Tink Bristow was disgusted with the Editors’ performance on the beach at Lorne.
 
That Heather Webb is now the centre of democratic action.
 
That Herc Hunt has now been appointed local secretary of the “go for it” club.
 
That Gaye Rockman attended a committee meeting.
 
That Greg Munn was in the dough - er Munney - over the vac.
 
That Yyyyvone Yamouni was seen reading De Min behind the King’s Bench Reports.