10 Ways to Procrastinate

Issue 11, Semester 2, 2019

S. M. EAGOL

​So, it’s come to this. You’ve got about 4-5 weeks left of study for the year (or your life, if you’re lucky enough to be graduating) and you really feel that you should be knuckling down and studying hard to finish off the year strong. Or… you could procrastinate and leave everything till later, which is much more fun. Here are 10 ways to procrastinate that will leave you feeling happy enough to outweigh your guilt from not reading WorkChoices.

Not really OK but OK - Image: De Minimis own

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1. Write a De Min article. Yep, I’m doing this when I really should be focusing on any one of my final four subjects that all require a large amount of work but hey, that’s what coffee and late nights are for. At least this way I can know that one person will read this and decide to follow me in this spiral of lost productivity with short-term gratification and longer-term consequences.
   
   
2. Make a Spotify playlist. A personal favourite of De Min this year and a highlight of any SWOTVAC period. I recently made a movie themes playlist, something that not only took a good couple of hours, but also prompted me to re-watch several of the movies whose music features on the playlist.
   
   
3. Start/finish a Netflix series. This is a great idea if you can find a good, new series with 6-8 seasons; at least 15 episodes of 30/40 minutes is ideal. Mad Men is a good start: 7 seasons and 12-14 45-minute episodes per season means over 60 hours of great procrastination. Alternatively, Mindhunter is a good true crime docuseries on how the FBI first started profiling and interviewing serial killers. Only 2 seasons, so less of a time commitment for those who don’t want to go headlong down the Netflix rabbit warren of lost productivity.
4. Learn a musical instrument. Now some people might say that they don’t have access to a musical instrument in their house, but this is where MLS has stepped in to save people with the resident piano, downstairs near the lift. This would solve two problems: it would mean less people are there showing off, and you can learn a valuable life skill because apparently learning a musical instrument can help your brain recover and other good stuff for when you frantically need to study after all this procrastination.
   
   
5. Go to Mezz and chat shit. One option that you can pursue without needing anything other than a single mate. The Enrichment Centre is arguably one of the best places to chat shit and procrastinate during Swotvac. There are lots of people and sometimes food there too! Shout-out to #mezzmeme gang.
   
   
6. Attend class. This is a great one — not for actual learning, but rather for the cohort experience, ‘which has been the highlight of my JD’ (M Gu, 2019)
   
   
7. Learn how to bake. This is a good one, because not only do you learn a skill, but you also get to eat something delicious. I hear some people have excellent apple pie recipes that they may or may not have stolen from Chloe Shorten (apparently in a forthcoming issue).
   
   
8. Read (or start) a fight in De Minimis comment sections. This is a great way to lose at least an hour or so, and something you can enjoy multiple times on the same article without it losing any of its joy. Like watching a slow-moving train crash, watching the back-and-forth attempts of commenters trying to out-woke their opponents elicits a weird sort of pleasure that I just can’t describe in words. Recent articles about the apparently egregious ‘End of Reign’ LSS function is a great start for someone wanting to dive headfirst into the juicy comments section.
   
   
9. Read a book. Nope, not a law book, just a normal book. Oh, the times when I could read something without having a highlighter and a pen nearby. I’d suggest a lengthy and enjoyable book, like Les Misérables, or, if you’re after something more light-hearted than that, try some P.G. Wodehouse for the adventures of Bertie Wooster and his butler Jeeves.
   
   
10. Plan your end of year Euro Trip (or next June/July Euro Trip). This is a great one because it takes your mind off the perils of Swotvac and makes you focus on the wonderful future that awaits at the end of the exam period. I’m currently planning an end-of-degree Euro trip for a month and looking up AirBnBs for Paris, sites to see in London and bars in Amsterdam has provided me with hours of lost productivity and many happy thoughts about the future. Because in the end, this whole Swotvac experience isn’t as bad when you’ve got something to look forward to at the end of it.

S. M. Eagol is the pseudonym of a JD Student.