Tessa Sidnam
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
 
First discovered by his Instagram uploads on Facebook, second-year John Azzopardi has travelled a slow but sure road to success in the Australian food industry. It is this growing fame which led to Azzopardi finding himself in charge of the entire menu for the University of Melbourne’s annual Law Students’ Society Law Camp for 2013. While De Minimis initially harboured some doubt about Azzopardi’s capacity to cook for the campers, what initially sounded like an uphill proposition proved to be an overwhelming success over the course of the weekend.
 
Friday night’s Huxtaburgers were anything but merely ordinary burgers. The patties were made of coarsely ground grass-fed wagyu beef, and served with flavourful aged cheddar and house-made chili. Azzopardi had clearly thought carefully about the blend of beef and fat ratio he was using. Vegetarians were given the generous option of portobello mushroom burgers with pesto mayo and asiago cheese. This was certainly a welcome change from the usual soy protein faux-meat creations usually served at camps.
 
At the crack of dawn, the happy campers arose to organic, cage-free scrambled eggs with spring onions. The spring onion is a species of onion from Asia with slender bulbs, similar to other types of onion. In fact, spring onions are very young onions which have been harvested before the bulb has had a chance to swell. It is rumoured that Azzopardi picked spring onions to represent the newness of the first-year law students, and to remind them that their chance to shine will come in the later semesters of their JD degree.
 
Saturday dinner featured olive-oiled multiple-hour slow-roasted lamb and a variety of sides, including a Moroccan carrot salad, Bolivian quinoa and Greek cucumber yoghurt sauce. The lamb was so succulent and tender that knives were unnecessary, and this ultimately helped to streamline the dishwashing process. Quinoa has been receiving a lot of media attention in the past few months. Its newfound status as a ‘miracle food which is also really cool to talk about’ has led to higher market prices and consequent claims that poor Bolivians can no longer afford their staple grain. Azzopardi, who studied business at an undergrad level, assured the campers that the quinoa boom can only be a good thing for some of the world’s poorest nations.
 
Of course, it is rare for camp food to be without flaws, especially when the campers are law students who take their own opinions a little too seriously. “I’m not sure where John was going with the Moroccan carrot salad,” one camper confessed. “It was a little too offbeat for my generic preferences. Sometimes when you’re really drunk all you want is a bowl of nachos.”
 
One of the self-inflicted vegans (who wishes to keep his/her identity and gender secure) was also less than positive. “I guess I found it hard being around so much lamb.”
 
Head Kitchen Assistants Yi Long Li (‘The Naked Chef Who Actually Did All The Work’) and Ken Kour (‘The Horsemeat Fanatic’) succinctly summarised last weekend’s camp food endeavour for De Minimis: “We’re quitting law school to takeover the food industry.”
 
Tessa mainly eats roasted broccoli and artisan ice cream. She did not attend camp.
 
Tessa Sidnam

Nicholas Baum
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
 
An unforeseen scheduling conflict faces MLS students, as the 2013 Law Ball clashes with interim assessment tasks for a number of subjects, provoking uproar amongst the student body.
 
The ball is scheduled for Thursday, 18 April, the evening before the Trusts one-hour interim exam. This assessment task, scheduled for Friday, 19 April, is worth 30 per cent of students’ final marks, although it is optional and is likely to be scheduled in the afternoon.
 
‘If the faculty wants to thumb their noses at students, thumb their noses at significant student events, that’s a matter for them, but it’s extremely disappointing,’ said second-year Evan Lacey.
 
MLS Associate Dean Elise Bant pointed out that the process of settling the interim assessment timetable was complex. Trusts had introduced a mid-semester exam this year in response ‘to student feedback about the desirability of interim assessment,’ she said.
 
In choosing the date, MLS student support staff Kate Bartlett and Kate Van Hooft examined numerous considerations: whether students would have sufficient time to prepare in between each assessment piece, that it would not conflict with other class times, that sufficient class time was available prior to the event to learn and practice the assessment content, among other factors.
 
‘All of this was taken into account in determining the assessment timetable as a whole, and where Trusts should sit within it,’ Bant said. ‘I do hope that the timing of the Law Ball will not unduly undermine [the aims of introducing interim assessment] – and also wish those that attend it a very enjoyable, but also healthy and safe evening.’
 
The dilemma arose when Law Students’ Society (LSS) Activities Directors Andrew Frawley and Nick Jane began planning the event in December 2012, and were required to make a booking in early February – before the assessment timetable’s release. The assessment timetable became public on Tuesday, 26 February.
 
Frawley confirmed last week that a deposit had already been paid. ‘The cost of changing it is in the ballpark of $50,000, which we cannot afford’, he said. He also conceded that the LSS could have done more to get advice from the faculty about assessment timing, but said that in the past, faculty had been unhelpful in this regard.
 
There are also minor conflicts with two other subjects. Principles of Public Law has a syndicate task, worth 20 per cent, due the following Monday. Legal Ethics has an in-class, one-hour written test scheduled for that week, also worth 20 per cent. While two-thirds of students taking the subject will have completed the test before the ball, De Minimis understands one stream may be required to sit the test on Friday, 19 April, but that this is unlikely.
 
The University of Melbourne Assessment Procedure policy, rule 4.3, requires faculty to publish information as to the approximate timing of assessment tasks in the subject Handbook. The entry in the Handbook for Trusts does not mention the timing of the interim assessment, while both the PPL and Ethics entries state that assessment will be in accordance with the coordinated assessment schedule. The Course Assessment Design and Methods Procedure policy, rule 3.1, contains a similar requirement that was also not complied with, as does the Meeting Student Expectations Procedure policy, rule 2.1.
 
LSS President Pat Easton and Vice President Lewis Cohen met with faculty last Tuesday, 5 March, to discuss the clash. They announced it publicly on Facebook on Thursday. The LSS has reportedly had significant difficulties in the past avoiding clashes with assessment tasks when scheduling events.
 
Former LSS Activities director and president Antony Freeman sympathised with the plight of the current organisers, stating that the LSS is ‘in a tricky spot’.
 
‘Assessment timetables, religious holidays, public holidays and other dates restrict the available dates’, he added, pointing out that venue hire fees were much higher on Fridays and Saturdays, when clashes with assessment were less likely.
 
Not all students were upset by the timing, and most remain excited for the premier event of the law school social calendar. First-year Alex Horton, who did not think the timing of the event would be an issue, said he was ‘absolutely pumped for law ball’.
 
Horton said his LMR group had already organised seating arrangements, and that some were getting suits personally tailored in Thailand. ‘It’ll be grand’, he remarked.
 
Nicholas Baum

Dean Edwards
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
 
Melbourne University student associations are undertaking some fresh ideas to build the university’s LGBTI community’s profile and social scene.
 
Last Tuesday, the Graduate Students Association (GSA) hosted around 20 students at Tsubu Bar, behind the Graduate Centre on main campus, for 2013’s inaugural queer mixer.
 
The GSA’s mixer was organised by the GSA Council’s queer officer, Solmaz Hosseinioon, who circulated the function introducing herself and providing LGBTI graduate students an outlet for sharing their ideas for strengthening the community.
 
While the GSA’s LGBTI calendar looks quiet for the coming semester, the Law Students Society’s new Queer officers, second-years Matt Condello and John Manwaring, are busy planning a bold agenda of ‘academically oriented’ sessions and networking events.
 
Manwaring expressed the difficulty many LGBTI law students face in ‘trying to find places in the profession and advocating causes, while not sacrificing themselves for it’.
 
Manwaring said that he and Condello want to revamp the Queer portfolio. The duo’s first major event for 2013 is the upcoming panel seminar, ‘Achieving Equality: Same-Sex Marriage, Politics and the Constitution’, with Professor Adrienne Stone participating alongside federal Greens MP Adam Bandt, state MPs Clem Newton-Brown and Jennifer Kanis and Australian Marriage Equality national director Rodney Croome.
 
The panel is scheduled for 7 p.m. Wednesday, 27 March (with light refreshments following the discussion).
 
Manwaring indicated there might be an end-of-year event geared toward preparing LGBTI students for the diverse job market, to show students the possibility of working while being ‘openly gay and active in the gay community’.
 
Manwaring was optimistic of the Queer portfolio’s potential, stating that their plans for expanding the portfolio will take ‘a lot of patience and maintaining continuity’, and that ‘with persistence it could grow’.
 
Dean Edwards

Agony Aunt
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
Dear Agony Aunt,
 
I’m on a committee with a girl who has started to act really weird. She goes hot or cold, sitting far away from me at meetings, but tells super corny jokes and watches for when I laugh. She says she wants to hook up but I thought I’d just been treating her as a friend. She’s asked me why I can’t be more like Noah. I think that’s from the Notebook.
 
Thoroughly Confused
 
Dear Thoroughly Confused,
 
This is confusion that all but the asexual and the clergy deal with regularly. It sounds to me like your girl received some exceedingly wise advice that has perhaps been misapplied. Or she has suffered from a series of small strokes, and should be monitored closely. Regardless, it is clear that she fancies you, and was struggling to choose her path between coyness and a more upfront approach.
 
Her reference to fictional characters is somewhat unnerving, but it is, sadly, a Gosling thing. With his feminist prose, dreamy good looks, and tendency to throw Girl Scout cookies into neighbouring cars, even the Aunts get a bit swoony. It doesn’t make her Noah comment any less odd, but there is a chorus of similar Ryan Gosling wishes out there, confusing men-folk like yourself, and you might just have to humour that one.
 
Given you don’t appear to share her feelings, and there remains the possibility that she is slightly unhinged, your actions from here should be quite clear, yet kind. Take her attentions as the kudos for being generally excellent that they are. Continue treating her as a friend, although be more conscious of whether she is taking your friendliness as intended. Hopefully your response to her asking you to ‘hook up’ made it clear that you do not wish to, whilst reassuring her that this was in no way a failure on her part. We all need to lie sometimes to preserve frail egos and committees.
 
Sincerely, Aunt Myrtle
 
Agony Aunt

Christine Todd
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
 
In this opinion piece, second-year Todd gives the lowdown on surviving – and succeeding – in the first year of law school.
 
So you made it into one of the top law school’s in the country. That’s pretty awesome. By now you’ve been given the spiel about academic excellence at orientation, stumbled your way through LMR and made a few questionable choices at law camp. You’re officially here. But now that the dust has settled, what happens next? Listen up for some free advice on how to get from bumbling law newbie to brilliant barrister in just 29 days or your money back!*
 
There are only four copies of your textbook in the reserve section of the library, and everybody else wants them: Skimping on textbook costs this year? Don’t. There is nothing worse than dashing to the library four minutes before closing time, the day before the assignment is due, only to find that some clever schmuck came in seven minutes earlier and took your damn book. Do your research and buy second hand off the LSS book exchange, or see if some kind second-years will loan you a copy. Sell your soul, if you must. You won’t be needing it here.
 
Judgements and legislation are written by people who hate you and want you to suffer: Particularly some of the older judgements, which are written in thoroughly British style low on humour and high on irrelevant information. Want your ratio decidendi? Google it. Better yet, ace all of your exams, become a brilliant barrister, make your way up the judicial ladder and finally, upon reaching the highest pinnacle of legal influence, write a judgement that is vaguely readable. PLEASE.
 
Getting through your weekly readings requires a stupid amount of patience: Remember how throughout your previous degree all of your lecturers would say that you should read once for a summary understanding, read again to take notes, and then read once more for complex analysis? You would laugh heartily and throw your readings into your hipster bag as you jumped onto your fixie and rode off into the sunset to seek out that amazing new hipster cider everyone was quietly cynical about. Well, the reading formula applies tenfold when it comes to some of the trickier cases covered during the JD. It will be tedious. It will be painful. But it will be worth it.
 
The Academic Skills Office is actually really helpful and will help you be a better student: ‘But I don’t need help!’ I hear you exclaim, ‘I’m the best!’ Well, you’re not. Now take your hand off your ego and go talk to the ever-approachable Chantal Morton in the Academic Skills office (to the right of the library reception, level 3). She offers great note-taking and essay-writing advice and only asks for half an hour of your time.
 
Follow directions, but don’t be afraid to push boundaries: Law school is an exercise in being guided down the right academic path by people that are often experts in their field. That said, they’re not infallible. I still have an enormous amount of respect for one of my peers who dared to continually push the envelope when it came to questioning the teaching methods of some of our lecturers in first year. Ask questions. Prompt for insight. Call them out when you’re not getting any value from class. You’re paying a lot for them to be here, so make the most of it.
 
You need to get involved: Don’t fool yourself into thinking that if you clear your plate free of extra-curricular activities you’ll somehow miraculously get better grades, and better looks. It almost never works that way. One of the key skills that will be mercilessly beaten into you during the course of this degree is time management. And your fancy pants law degree won’t mean much if all you do is turn up for class and don’t engage with your surroundings. The law school runs something for everybody, with options to try your hand at mooting, or even write for this here newspaper. It’s also a great opportunity for early networking with people who, in all likelihood, could end up working alongside you someday. Or ahead of you. So be nice.
 
Downtime is important: It will feel as if law school has become your entire life at times, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You are the ultimate regulator of your schedule, and that includes scheduling the time to do absolutely nothing. Use all the methods of relaxation available to you. Join a sports team. Buy a videogame that will take at least a month to complete. See friends. Try and remember where your parents live. Okay, I’ve gone too far. But you get my drift. Keeping yourself grounded in reality will give you a cool head, in any event cooler than the students you are competing with for marks.
 
So there you have it. Free advice, take it or leave it. Though I’d probably take it, given in 10 years the only advice I’ll be providing will be under client legal privilege, and I’ll be billing you for it. And you’re probably only in that situation because you didn’t listen to me in the first place. For shame.
 
* This statement does not represent a binding unilateral offer to be accepted. Enjoy your influenza, suckers!
 
Christine Todd

Annie Zheng
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
 
March 11, 1991 – South Africa Imposes Curfew in Black Townships
 
On this day in 1991, the South African government announced that a curfew would be imposed on selected black townships in an effort to curb political gang fighting, which had killed 49 people. The nighttime ban – one of many during the last years of apartheid South Africa – took effect from 9 p.m. until 4 a.m. the next day. Almost 1,700 deaths resulted from the political infighting and gang violence that year.
 
Annie Zheng

Brigitte Wise
Volume 3, Issue 2, (Originally Published on Monday 11 March 2013)
 
This year, the Law Student Society’s (LSS) Women’s Portfolio are celebrating International Women’s Day by hosting a High Tea to launch their project, ‘Women’s Business: A Social Justice Initiative’.
 
The High Tea is slated for 1 – 2 p.m., Tuesday, 19 March, on MLS Level 1. Students can enjoy a cup of tea with some cupcakes and crustless sandwiches, whilst also choosing where the LSS Women’s Portfolio should direct its resources in helping disadvantaged women and children.
 
In a statement, one of the LSS Women’s officers, Brigitte Wise, said ‘we propose that we make a difference outside of the Law School, show our support and promote equal opportunities for all women of Victoria, and especially for the women that need it most’.
 
The statement also thanked the event’s sponsors, Leo Cussen and Minter Ellison Lawyers.
 
International Women’s Day, which was marked on Friday, 8 March, began in the early twentieth century’s struggle to build solidarity across national borders and promote women’s liberation and education.
 
Brigitte Wise