Alternative Advice

Jess Sykes
Volume 3, Issue 9, (Originally Published on Monday 6 May 2013)
 
People fill your ears with all kinds of wisdom when it comes to coping strategies in stressful periods. Advice offered for Uni, for exam periods, for the inevitable personal breakdowns we all have occasionally. If, like me, you greeted week nine by looking up aneurism to check if you just had one, then it might be time to try some alternative methods of stress management.
 
Advice to exercise, eat healthily and not drink alcohol or caffeine is all well and good, but as someone who is currently unsure if they’re shivering from the cold or the DTs, it may not be overly realistic. And anyone who has ever tried to take coffee from a law student has probably not lived to tell the tale. That said, do your best, but maybe supplement with these additions:
 
At all costs try to avoid conversing with ‘study braggers’. I don’t want to be overly dramatic, but I’m fairly certain they have the potential to destroy entire civilisations with their swiping ego/word vomit combo. Obviously everyone should be able to discuss their successes and feel proud of their achievements, but when you’re using your skin primarily to stop your nerves exploding, you need reassuring friends.
 
Perhaps consider indulging in a nervous habit or two. I’m biting my lip as I type this, and have developed a charming eye twitch, which has the surprising result of causing a gentleman in the library to think I’m flirting with him.
 
Who knows, maybe I am.
 
Just do one thing at a time. And then look at some pictures of cats. Unless you’re someone who prefers to work in big chunks of time, in which case do one thing at a time, followed by other one things for a concentrated period, then look at some cats, eat some sweet treats and go for a walk. Repeat.
 
Remember all the times you thought you’d ruined your life by spending mass amounts of time in your underwear watching TV instead of studying/working, and how it actually was completely fine in the end. Obviously this should show you that you could probably have Doogie Houser’d this law business if you’d just kept your pants on and stopped procrastinating, but you’re fine.
 
And when that seemingly pointless topic is hurting your brainbox, think of David Sedaris’s wise words that regardless of the subject, the knowledge will come in handy once you hit middle age and start working crossword puzzles in order to stave off the terrible loneliness.
 
Jess Sykes