What to Do in the Event You Are Trapped in a MLS Lift

Christine Todd
Volume 3, Issue 10, (Originally Published on Monday 13 May 2013)
 
1. Press all of the buttons.
 
2. Utter a few crude profanities.
 
3. Press the same buttons again, but better.
 
4. Panic.
 
5. Press the emergency button and speak to a frustratingly calm operator while you freak the hell out.
 
6. Respond to questions, including “Are you claustrophobic?” (Well, I am now), and “What is your mobile number?” (No, I do not come here often).
 
7. Contemplate which of your textbooks you’ll burn first to keep warm through the cold, lonely night (Admin, definitely Admin).
 
8. Kick yourself for that split second decision to not take the stairs, because you’re a lazy sod and books are heavy.
 
9. Take the opportunity to study, because since when do we ever stop? In any case, you can’t leave the room to get distracted.
 
10. Be patient...said no one ever to somebody stuck in a lift.
 
11. Live-tweet the experience.
 
12. Consider calling for a pizza. Wonder if their ‘Delivery in 30 minutes or your pizza free!’ policy applies if they physically can’t hand the pizza to you.
 
13. Bunker down and have a quick snooze. Get to know the security guy through the jammed door.
 
14. Contemplate eerie notes you could leave for other students on the walls of the lift, should things go pear-shaped.
 
15. Become attached to your new home. Consider ways to spruce up the place.
 
16. Having resigned yourself to becoming a full-time tenant of Lift 1, Level 3, have the doors suddenly creak open to a relieved security guy.
 
17. Take the stairs to the ground floor.
 
Christine Todd