L is for Lecture-Bashers

CHARLES HOPKINS
Volume 1, Issue 4 (Originally Published 19 March 2012)
 
No, I have not misspelt the title.
 
Every semester, week 3 rolls around and everyone is raging over who they didn’t get as their lecturer. Facebook has been rife this last week with people questioning the quality of their lecturers; what subject does this Kony dude teach anyway?
 
As far as Facebook goes, it seems the pithier you can make your lecturer-insults the cooler you are. Firstly, I feel it redundant to highlight the lameness inherent in that practice. Secondly, I also feel it redundant to highlight the paradox inherent in highlighting something that doesn’t need highlighting. And finally, arguments are always more convincing if you say three things.
 
The main problem is that once a lecturer accrues a reputation, the student hate festers until week 9 arrives and Quality of Teaching forms are released. I feel a sincere sympathy for lecturers who suffer student unpopularity because as the faculty regularly remind us, they take the polls very seriously (cue impassioned and disingenuous spiel on faceless men).
 
To all this you respond: haters gawn hate. But why? Why are the haters going to hate?
 
As far as I can tell, lecturer- bashing is premised on a sense of entitlement. Every JD feels they deserve the best; it’s like Christmas dinner with Gina Rinehart’s family.
 
“I pay high fees so I deserve a high quality of teaching” I was told when I asked an imaginary JD what shim thought. To that I say: “Well have you done adequate preparation before you suffer this allegedly poor teaching?” to which shim replied “no”, because it was in line with the angle of this article.
 
In an age where people would sooner sling mud than offer praise, I quote a personal hero of mine, a lyrical genius, a modern Shakespeare: “people got me, got me questionin’, where is the love? Love? Where is? The love? Where is? The love? Where is? The love? The love? The love?”
 
On that note, I have decided to end this piece with an open letter to all Melbourne Law School lecturers:
 
Hey there friend. I love and respect what you do. You have cool taste in music and I love when you do that thing you do...
 
... please give me an H1.
 
Charles Hopkins will appear on the Today show this week, if he can get close enough to the back window with a dumb sign