The People v Courting Clerkships

Andrew Michaelson
Volume 3, Issue 11, (Originally Published on Monday 20 May 2013)
 
I’m nervous, my palms are sweaty, I’m practising my lines and I’ve had way too much to drink in the vain hope of getting some confidence.
 
How does my hair look? What if she thinks I’m a moron, I look like such a stooge in this shirt ugh. Ok, alright, just try to join the conversation, it’ll be fine say something funny ohgodohgod.
 
“Hi there, my name’s Andrew, so you’re from Freehills...”
 
I learned last week, while attending the LSS Meet the Profession Evening, that trying to score a clerkship is a lot like trying to start a relationship with someone.
 
The evening was geared as a chance for students interested in applying for clerkships to meet representatives from the biggest firms, have a chat, grab some drinks, hear some stories and see if they were the firm for them.
 
The thing was, while this was aiming to be a ‘professional networking’ evening, it ended up becoming something much more akin to speed dating if anything. Big smiles and small talk were in abundance, as we all tried to make an impression on our dates.
 
Just like any first date, the evening could only have a few outcomes.
 
You Make A Connection. They like you, not quite convinced yet, but they’re intrigued and want to see you again. They’ll make you jump through a few hurdles first, but if you’ve got everything where it counts you’ll be in with a shot of a meaningful relationship.
“Well it was nice meeting you, I look forward to reading your application.”
 
Friendzone. Again they like you, but not as much as you like them. The firm thinks you’re nice, and would totally make another firm really happy, but they’ve got their eyes on someone else, and just don’t see you that way. Try as hard as you like, it’s unlikely that they’ll take it to the next level.
“Best of luck, I’m sure you’ll get one somewhere.”
 
The Flirt-All-Night-Only-to-Find-Out-They’re-Unavailable. So you’ve been chatting with the firm rep, it’s going really well, they’ve made it sound like you’ve got a real shot at getting a position, only for them to drop one little detail at the end which makes it all worthless.
“Sounds like you’d be a great addition to the team, oh but sorry, we don’t offer clerkships to international students.”
 
Rejection. You’ve played all your moves, you’ve given the compliments, asked all the questions, but they’re not buying what you’re selling.
“Have you thought about Leo Cussens?”
 
Vegas Wedding. You and the firm rep get smashed, go a bit crazy, say some things you probably shouldn’t have, sign a few things you definitely shouldn’t have, and then wake up the next morning in a hung over stupor regretting the commitment you’ve made.
Probably the most unlikely outcome.
 
You’re ‘That Guy’. You’re drunk, you spilt your drink, tripped over the sign and hit on the boss. Yeah, you’re that guy.
“Haha yeah, he’s definitely that guy.”
 
Andrew Michaelson is looking for a learned friend. He likes long walks on the bench, candle lit depositions, after work piña coladas, and getting ‘court’ in the rain.
 
Andrew Michaelson