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Issue 6, Volume 17 BORIS BULGAKOV Recently redundant 3rd Year MLS student, Oliver Chester, has reported to De Minimis that he has started to feel quite shit about himself as a person, and he says other MLS students are partially to blame. After finally getting out of bed around 11.30, Oliver picked up and put on yesterday’s t-shirt and met up with De Min over Zoom. “So yeah, I guess I haven’t really been doing anything if I’m honest,” confessed Oliver. “Stared at some textbooks for an hour or two, watched an episode of Tiger King because Netflix has been shoving it down my throat and then it was 5pm so I thought I’d have a beer.”  Pre-iso Oliver Oliver then says that he spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch on his phone, perusing Instagram.
And that’s when things start getting Oliver a little more down in the dumps. “I really don’t need to be reminded of how I’ve got no job right now by my more successful peers who incessantly upload stories of their ‘work from home’ setups for their top tier paralegal position.” “And I definitely don’t need elaborate displays of quarantine cooking or ‘quarantinis’ from my peers broadcasting to their Insta stories from their Toorak mansion, beach house or CBD apartment.” Oliver then continued to whine to De Min about other MLS students who post videos of themselves catching up with others over Zoom because it reminds him of his loneliness, before criticising those who upload videos of themselves doing yoga or “some other annoying wellness shit”. Finally, Oliver lambasted students who post those “really fucking ridiculous riddles – I mean honestly no one cares at all, Jesus Christ.” Oliver then left the interview with De Min to masturbate for his fifth time today. Boris Bulgakov is the pseudonym of a third year JD student.
Chic Critique
7/4/2020 08:23:39 pm
Whilst I suspect this article has a strong element of the tongue in cheek, it's important to recognise the reality of how social media (Instagram - looking at you here) is being used as a platform during this time of crisis to show off even more polished versions of the 'ideal MLS student' (who knew we could sink to this point). Don't let the rosy coloured story filter make you doubt your journey and your response to the situation!
:(
7/4/2020 09:03:24 pm
Instagram has really made it sink in that even in quarantine you'll never be able to quite reach the heights as some of your "peers" here. Bleak times, bleak thoughts. Humourous article though.
Covid content creator
7/4/2020 08:25:41 pm
I thought times like this called for people to be supportive on one another, not taking the piss out of people trying to make the most of a bad situation. Bear in mind you can unfollow people if you don’t want to. Stay happy and healthy kids :)
Dushantë
7/4/2020 08:54:42 pm
The article clearly is intended to be satirical... the writer pokes fun at Oliver more than any of the others in the piece.
"Content" Creator
7/4/2020 08:56:07 pm
Sounds like the article hit a nerve here? Someone didn't like your yoga or cooking vids?
covid content creator
7/4/2020 09:07:53 pm
Yours truly hasn't posted a single video, she just isn't a fan of people taking the piss out of those who are just minding their own business.
Dushantë
7/4/2020 09:01:10 pm
I think this article clearly is intended to be satirical... the writer pokes fun at Oliver more than any of the others in the piece.
Keeping up with the Koronas
7/4/2020 08:47:53 pm
To quote the timeless movie mean girls- I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy
Kk
7/4/2020 08:55:52 pm
Kk
Not Oliver
8/4/2020 10:17:34 am
Was not aware I'd let De Min have such a scathing insight into my personal life. 10/10 on point satire.
Privo
9/4/2020 02:11:16 am
Man shocked that the most privildeged kids in australia remain to be priviledged Comments are closed.
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