Issue 6, Volume 17
Recently redundant 3rd Year MLS student, Oliver Chester, has reported to De Minimis that he has started to feel quite shit about himself as a person, and he says other MLS students are partially to blame.
After finally getting out of bed around 11.30, Oliver picked up and put on yesterday’s t-shirt and met up with De Min over Zoom.
“So yeah, I guess I haven’t really been doing anything if I’m honest,” confessed Oliver.
“Stared at some textbooks for an hour or two, watched an episode of Tiger King because Netflix has been shoving it down my throat and then it was 5pm so I thought I’d have a beer.”
Oliver then says that he spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch on his phone, perusing Instagram.
And that’s when things start getting Oliver a little more down in the dumps.
“I really don’t need to be reminded of how I’ve got no job right now by my more successful peers who incessantly upload stories of their ‘work from home’ setups for their top tier paralegal position.”
“And I definitely don’t need elaborate displays of quarantine cooking or ‘quarantinis’ from my peers broadcasting to their Insta stories from their Toorak mansion, beach house or CBD apartment.”
Oliver then continued to whine to De Min about other MLS students who post videos of themselves catching up with others over Zoom because it reminds him of his loneliness, before criticising those who upload videos of themselves doing yoga or “some other annoying wellness shit”.
Finally, Oliver lambasted students who post those “really fucking ridiculous riddles – I mean honestly no one cares at all, Jesus Christ.”
Oliver then left the interview with De Min to masturbate for his fifth time today.
Boris Bulgakov is the pseudonym of a third year JD student.