Issue 12, Semester 1, 2019
To the Tram-Going Public at Large,
What the hell is wrong with all of you people? I’ve seen trams bring out the worst in people. I know that asking for a common-sense method of distributing humans around a busy tram carriage to prevent bottlenecks at the doors is apparently too much, and that asking people to move over to the window seat when they sit down to allow other people into the spare space is just greedy—but I never thought I’d actually see the day when octogenarians are left standing so that a bunch of hopped-up college kids can take up six rows of seating on their way out to ABC or wherever. Is it just me, or is our city’s public transport etiquette getting worse?
LOCOMOTIVE IN LILYDALE
As proud curmudgeons, and all round fault-finders in dang kids these days, we wholeheartedly endorse your ire toward young people on trams. As a side note however, don’t let the seeming innocence and frailty of those octogenarians fool you. Senior citizens make the best undercover ticket inspectors. If you see one coming, run.