Week 11, Sem 2
Here it comes. The end. Not with a bang but with a whimper. Three years, 24 subjects, 48 ish assessments and 504 days (ish) of semester that we will never get back.
We have aged immeasurably. But with age comes wisdom and the ever present need to share said wisdom with those not at the 504 day mark. So here it is: the (non) definitive list of wisdom accumulated after three years at this institution:
1. Unless physically incapable, taking the lift to mezzanine or level 1 is just lazy. Seriously, is there anything more frustrating than trying to head to level 5 and stopping at mezzanine? By all means if that is your only avenue then use the lifts but if you are able, TAKE THE STAIRS.
2. Not one class is actually a seminar. Yeah, this one was figured out early on. Here’s the definition of a seminar provided by the Collins Dictionary: a class at a college or university in which the teacher and a small group of students discuss a topic. Here’s the definition of a lecture: a talk someone gives in order to teach people about a particular subject. It’s evident which one we have. Let’s not kid ourselves
3. The revolving doors were and always will be a waste of our money.
4. Whispering in the silent study area is not being silent. If you utter a sound in that room, you are not being silent. If you are listening to music through headphones that can be heard by others in the room, you are not being silent. If you are having a full on discussion about the freaking Kardashians in that room you are not being silent! Go study somewhere else, or I will not be responsible for my actions.
5. Stealing food from the fridge or leaving your food in there should be a criminal offence punishable by expulsion.
6. Stealing the ethics books is wrong (but ironically hilarious).
7. Wellbeing is a load of crock. Let’s crunch some numbers: 10 hours of reading per class plus 4 hours of class = 56 hours. On top of that there are interim assignments and exam preparation. Additionally, you are supposed to volunteer and participate in activities like mooting. Unless you’re super rich, at some time you will have to work for money because otherwise you will die. But don’t worry, sometimes a therapy dog is here.
8. Discussion rooms are not soundproof. Just because you’ve closed a door doesn’t mean we can’t hear you. Linda, I don’t need to hear about how wasted you were on Saturday night and how you hooked up with Keith even though you like Shirley and isn’t Ann’s hair like amazing today and isn’t Gavin, like, so annoying...
9. Group assignments: don’t be the dickhead. It is as simple as that. In the real world, not pulling your weight will get you fired. Unfortunately at MLS that’s not possible but you will be burnt in effigy and some bad karma will be coming your way. One never knows when that is going to bite.
10. Good lawyers do not make good lecturers. There are some brilliant teachers in this building and some who are atrocious. It’s not completely their fault either; teachers go through years of training to acquire the necessary skills associated with communicating information to large groups of people while our lecturers are out practicing the law. While this skill deficit is understandable, it is still frustrating.
11. Bludging all semester then bitching that your WAM isn’t H1 is ridiculous. Grow up and train yourself not to procrastinate. Sure, this course is a killer, but if you contribute to your own suffering I have no sympathy for you.
12. Writing anonymously is being a coward. Own your opinions already and stand by them, otherwise don’t print them in De Min or comment on those that have. Remember, honesty without tact is cruelty.
13. Unless you’re the first one out the door, 10min is a tight turnaround to get coffee. Always err on the side of caution when re-entering the class - we can hear your entire conversation the second you get within five meters of that door.
14. All coffee around MLS is overpriced. Period.
15. Last of all, being kind is more valuable than anything else in this building. To yourself, to your classmates, to your lecturers, to the cleaning staff. You have no idea what is happening in someone else’s life and the centre of the universe is not you. Plus, all things come to an end – this degree will end (I promise!). Make good memories while you can – people remember how you made them feel and don’t forget, our profession is a small one.