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Editorial: De Minimis condemns the introduction of revolving doors

26/3/2018

 
Issue 5

By DM Editorial Team

As the law student weekly gossip rag, De Minimis prides itself on keeping its finger on the law school pulse. Having seen pretty much everything that MLS can hurl at you over the past two and a bit years, there is not much that happens at the law school that is surprising anymore.

...Or so we thought.

Like many of you no doubt, De Minimis editors had a rude surprise upon arrival at MLS at the start of 2018 to find a very unfamiliar and unwelcome presence blocking the entrances to our beloved (?) law building. We strolled across Pelham Street, dangerously crossing the road in front of cars who haven’t realised that they are approaching a pedestrian crossing. Looking at the two illegally parked Ferraris on Leicester Street, we are constantly reminded  of the promise of success this degree allegedly offers, while at the same time provided with a visual reminder of the amount of debt we’ve taken on. ​
Picture
After picking up a notoriously burnt coffee (that somehow took 15 minutes to make) from a coffee joint which will remain anonymous, we then headed through the familiar automatic doors only to be then subject to a revoltving  door.

Entering the second door, one wonders if the introduction of the second type of door was part of an innovative MLS marketing campaign. You enter the building in which you have tentatively decided to study your second degree, and are immediately slowed down,  you realise that the finish line which once looked so close requires patience and determination to reach. You know that your only option now is to keep slowly edging forward. You know that if you happen to stop for a moment and begin to ponder why you’re putting yourself through all this, you will come to certain realisations. The realisation that you should have pursued what you were really passionate about and become an historian will smack you in the back of the head and spit you out, onto the floor of the law building. With a bone-crushing certainty, you know now what you didn’t before, before entering the doors. This is where you belong now.   

De Minimis is informed that revolving doors are more sustainable as they ensure a more regular air flow throughout the building, but easily their best feature is that you can use the accessible doors on either side and avoid the revolving ones completely, probably, negating any air flow benefits in the process.
Terrible Human Being
27/3/2018 10:16:09 pm

When I saw that photo, I had this beautiful day dream that the door jammed, and all the De Minimis staff suffocated. MLS rejoiced after being saved from it's own terrible student paper and the many moronic articles within.

I know then physics don't even make sense. But jeeze...a person can dream

De Minimis
27/3/2018 10:41:29 pm

Perhaps dear reader you may wish to submit your dream to our in-house dream counsel for analysis. While unqualified to comment ourselves, we believe that they will probably find that you are the human equivalent of the streaks left behind after a particularly sloppy poo. But who knows what else they might turn up!

Helpful Pedant
27/3/2018 10:49:03 pm

"Its", not "it's".


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  • Home
  • ABOUT US
  • Podcast
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  • Art
  • Get published!
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  • Archive
    • 2018
    • 2017
    • 2017 >
      • Semester 2 (Volume 12) >
        • Issue 1
        • Issue 2
        • Issue 3
        • Issue 4
        • Issue 5
        • Issue 6
        • Issue 7
        • Issue 8 (election issue)
        • Issue 9
        • Issue 10
        • Issue 11
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    • 2016 >
      • Semester 1 (Volume 9) >
        • Issue 1
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        • Issue 3
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      • Semester 2 (Volume 10) >
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        • Issue 5
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        • Issue 7
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        • Issue 9
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        • Issue 12
        • Issue 13 (test)
    • 2015 >
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