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Issue 9, Volume 17 JEREMY WAITE Late last year, the University of Melbourne Graduate Student Association (GSA) embarked on a process of constitutional reform. For the unacquainted, the GSA is the peak representative body for graduate students at the University of Melbourne. You may be familiar with some of our long running advocacy campaigns on issues like transport concessions for postgraduate students, WAM adjustments for Semester 1 or stipend extensions for graduate researchers during the current COVID-19 pandemic.  Building 1888, home of the GSA (Image: Wikimedia Commons)
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Issue 9 Volume 17 RENZO TWEEDIE “I wrote this piece when everything was very uncertain and things I had been taking for granted were no longer accessible. Looking back, it’s strange to remember the mindset I was in. Now, I feel hopeful and determined, it really is amazing to experience our capacity to adjust. If you’re looking for someone to talk to happiness is only a teardrop away (haha love Shrek 2 but seriously my virtual door is always open).”  Image: Pexel Issue 8, Volume 17 EMILY ZAHRA Story time. We’ve all heard about local myths and legends. Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, drop bears, etc. Most people, the non-believers as we call them, brush away these myths with an indifferent air. “The photo is too grainy”, or “that’s so fake”, or “it’s not physically possible, science says so!” they cry in the face of people who chose to believe. I understand that incredulity, because I used to be one of them. Until, that is, I had my very own supernatural experience.  Issue 8, Volume 17 SHANE FULORGEE There was a young man sick of lock down Who had spent the last week in his night gown When there came a nice day The cops took him away For enjoying a long walk through the town.  Issue 8, Volume 17 LAUREN TAYLOR This fun quiz will let you know what you and your friends will be up to in a year’s time! Awesome! Tally up your scores as you go, and we’ll let you know what type of lawyer in the line at Centrelink you’ll be!  Image: Adeolu Eletu on Unsplash Isuue 8, Volume 17 ŽIPRIŽE BUTŽEKS Look, I don’t mean this as a flex, but a lot of girls are into me. A LOT. And I don’t mean, like, my grandma calls me up daily to ask about my day (which she does). This is a succession of real-live, jaw-dropping, scantily-clad babes taking a direct interest in me.  Issue 7, Volume 17 HAMISH DUNDEE No, it isn’t VB, Vegemite, or tying your partner to the bed using venomous snakes – it’s something much more dangerous. In fact, the things that many Australians can be reliably predicted to be interested in aren’t Australian at all: they belong to our Pacific cousin, the United States.  Image: Wikimedia Commons Issue 7, Volume 17 GENCO CEYLAN ‘Induce in the inmate a state of conscious and permanent visibility that assures the automatic functioning of power’ (Foucault, Discipline and Punish, 201). You awake without an alarm. The day feels like it’s just begun, but the irrepressible march of time cares not how you feel. You check your phone. A never-ending stream of incomprehensible information about a pandemic. Your mobile phone, which has been a source of comfort for so many years, is again espousing an endless mire of nihilistic news.  Image: Wikimedia Commons Issue 7, Volume 17 JAMES COOPER-SMITH For decades, Bernie Sanders has stood at the forefront of the Progressive movement in the United States. The man marched with Martin Luther King Junior, to give you an idea of how long he’s been aboard this boat. Last week, he suspended his campaign for President, effectively ceding the Democratic nomination to Joe Biden. There is no doubt that 2020 was his last hurrah.  Image: Wikimedia Commons Issue 6, Volume 17 BORIS BULGAKOV Recently redundant 3rd Year MLS student, Oliver Chester, has reported to De Minimis that he has started to feel quite shit about himself as a person, and he says other MLS students are partially to blame. After finally getting out of bed around 11.30, Oliver picked up and put on yesterday’s t-shirt and met up with De Min over Zoom. “So yeah, I guess I haven’t really been doing anything if I’m honest,” confessed Oliver. “Stared at some textbooks for an hour or two, watched an episode of Tiger King because Netflix has been shoving it down my throat and then it was 5pm so I thought I’d have a beer.”  Pre-iso Oliver Issue 6, Volume 17 HARRIET BAKER-JONES Content Warning: This article discusses sexual assault. “It is better to allow ten guilty men to escape than allow one innocent man to suffer.” Our criminal system is based upon a lofty premise: that depriving an innocent person of their liberty and freedom is worse than allowing a presumably guilty person to roam free. Unfortunately, today we probably witnessed the unfortunate turn of events where we allowed a guilty individual to escape. An overall injustice has more than likely occurred. George Pell’s accusers deserve our belief, and it is important to remember that George Pell is not necessarily innocent, but merely acquitted.  St Patrick's Cathedral (Image: Wikimedia Commons) Issue 6, Volume 17 ANONYMOUS NB: I write this to the Dean of MLS, Pip Nicholson, in the hope that she will respond. Dear Pip Nicholson, For fear of sounding like just another aggrieved and disappointed JD student adapting to this anxious time, I will be brief. I understand this is an entirely unprecedented situation and I appreciate the immense and commendable effort that MLS has put into the transition to a virtual campus. My concern, however, and that of many of my peers, is that this transition – although necessary – is understandably causing many full-fee paying/bursary students to question the value of what they are now paying for.  Image: Wikimedia Commons Issue 6, Volume 17 MAX FERGUSON The inaugural entry in De Minimis’ latest column: Pets of MLS! ‘Cats, that’s what you people want, is it? A succession of cute furballs to detract from the irredeemable ugliness of your existence? Ugh.’ – Oprah Winfrey. ‘…cat people are backstabbing pieces of shit.’ – James Garretson. Jeremy Waite is the eccentric, blonde owner of two mature female cats: Mika and Mei Mei. This reporter was lucky enough to secure an interview with the reclusive hermit, in his grungy inner-city bachelor pad.  Mika giving you the eyes |
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