Week 2 Semester 2
By Charlie McMillan
Bad v Boujee  CLR 4 is landmark judgment. It has proven to be the most cited from the 2016 Culture Law Reports and bears many thematic similarities with the much-lauded judgment Gin v Juice. It was even extrajudicially praised by Donald Glover at the 2017 Golden Globes.
Offset CJ, Quavo J, and Takeoff J, collectively known as the ‘Migos’, were set to hear the case. However, Takeoff J recused himself without telling the court and did not write a judgment. He was seen wandering the court building but not participating in the hearing itself. In an unforeseeable turn of events, he has since denied this fact to journalists.
Deputy Justice Khaled (DJ Khaled) was requested as a replacement judge but announced publicly that he had recently lost a “major key” and would be unable to fulfil the role. De Minimis understands that he may have misplaced his car keys, and was therefore unable to attend the trial. Lil Uzi Vert was asked to fill the bench of three judges for the case to go ahead.
Offset CJ, husband to another legal powerhouse Baroness Cardi (Cardi B) #PowerCouple, lays out the Court’s overall reasoning at the outset of the judgment. Fortunately for future law students who will study this case, this is done in a clear, rhythmic, chorus-like fashion which is repeated by all on the bench. Some have drawn conclusions between this composition and Mason J’s ‘fat bars’ laying down the common law negligence calculus in Wyong Shire Council v Shirt: “The tribune of fact asserts (truth) / when another man has been hurt (disability!) / if the magnitude of risk absurd (woo) / and the probability is perverse / take into account the liability (cost) / when looking at reasonability (skrrt skrrrrt).”
Drawing on notable inspiration from Juicy J, Offset CJ concretises the threshold for being ‘boujee’ as being pecunious and owning a convertible vehicle: “I’m ridin’ around in a coupe (coupe) / I take your bih right from you (you)...So my money makin’ my back ache (aagh).” One can draw similarities between this list of salient features and Allsop P’s vast catalogue of salient features used to determine a duty of care in the tort of negligence. (Though the list enumerated in Bad v Boujee is actually useful.)
After reading a judgment like this, the immortal words of Exchequer Eazy (Eazy-E) come to mind: “Don’t quote me boy, cause I ain’t said shit.” Fans of these three infamous judges should realise that their Honours’ contributions to jurisprudence are entertaining, but lack any real substance.
Much like this piece of writing. Why are you reading this and not your cases?