Law Ball Ticket Sales Close this Thursday

Volume 1, Issue 6 (Originally Published on 1 April 2012)
 
THE CORRS CHAMBERS WESTGARTH LAW BALL 2012 Directors, Anna Eleftheriadis and Nick Baum, today reported that over 6,500 tickets had been sold to this year's event, and that they intended to keep up with contemporary event management techniques, pioneered by the Australian Grand Prix Corporation, of adding an extra 0 to the total sales reported in the media.

“We believe this year's world-record-breaking sales were driven primarily by the Hubba Bubba scent infused in each of the tickets,” said Mr Baum, in the same breath denying that they would not be serving dinner this year in order to recoup the cost of this marketing ploy. The dire financial state of this year's premiere social event, attributed in part to the large signing bonuses paid to Ms Eleftheriadis and Mr Baum, did not appear to concern the directors. “The academic impact of the ball, which increases average marks by over 20%, more than justifies the exorbitant cost to the Law Students Society,” said Mr Baum.

De Minimis' exclusive coverage of the event in previous years has been undermined this year by the decision of the event organisers to run a live blog, Twitter feed, Weibo account and LMS Announcements stream with second-to-second updates of the latest happenings. “This is groundbreaking stuff,” said Ms Eleftheriadis, and before we could interrupt, she continued, “Photos, videos, scandalous gossip - we have it all. We can't guarantee the factual merits of the content, and neither can we confirm that Prince Harry, this year's yet-to-be-announced mystery host, will be guest- tweeting from the official account.”
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Ms Eleftheriadis refused to tell our reporter where students could find these online sources, but encouraged students to look carefully at the poster for more information. “Our marketing team employed a professional hieroglyphics technician especially for this,” she said.