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2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 MICHAEL FRANZ Ugh, first years. This is what happens when you have a slow submission week. With the big boss Editor-in-Chief Anisha taking up all the prime real estate in next week’s issue with her official Week One Welcome, it falls to your humble Managing Editor to scratch out something witty and avuncular for this here LMR issue, to help gird all you freshlings for your big adventure in law school. Problem is, that as an old man I don’t exactly speak the lingua franca of today’s youth. Add to that, right now I’m tired from staying up late watching The Devil Wears Prada, I left this piece way too close to deadline, and I’m sure that at this stage you’ve heard every possible variation of ground-breaking advice from your Pathfinders, orientation panels and assorted seniors to the effect of ‘remember to take care of yourself’. So instead, as De Minimis’ resident mature-age student, I’ve decided to go in a different direction and take time out of my busy schedule of hip replacements and heart medication refills to offer up a good old-fashioned grumpy rant. You children don’t get enough grumpy rants these days. Also, pro tip - nobody expects rants to have much thematic cohesion, internal structure or even good content, so it makes it easier to get away with lazy writing. 
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2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 XAVIER BOFFA Law school. You've made it. To get here you’ve endured the LSAT, sat countless exams, and submitted innumerable assignments. If, like me, the thought of a few dozen more doesn't necessarily fill you with excitement, you've come to the right place. 
2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0
KARAN DESAI and YING WONG Here are some of our best JD (and life) tips from day one to admission, in joyous, listenable, easy-to-access format. 36 songs for the 36 days of Semester 1 and the next 36+ months of your life. Enjoy. 
2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 TILLY HOUGHTON and JAYNAYA DWYER This article was originally published in Vol 12, Issue 12, 2017. That every person before the Court has the right to representation is a fundamental principle for the legal system—if it is to be a just legal system. But in a democratic society that adheres to the free market, this, in practice, looks markedly different: the resources available to a powerful defendant are in many cases superior to those of the plaintiff seeking the jurisdiction of the Court. We all know this, but as the offers for clerkships come out very shortly, it may be worth re-asking the question: why did you choose to study law?  Image: Supplied
2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 ANONYMOUS A printed version of this open letter appeared outside the lift well on Open Day 2016. It was quickly taken down by University of Melbourne Staff. It details the experience and opinion of one third year JD student, and is being republished here in the LMR Edition (Issue 0) of 2019. Dear Prospective MLS Student, Welcome to the Law School. I am a third year JD student in my final semester at Melbourne Law School. It’s a Sunday, and I am studying at the library - likely what you will be doing three out of four Sundays should you study law here. But before I open my textbooks I wanted to write some truths in the midst of the Open Day fervour so that you may make an informed decision to study law here, or not.  Image: Wikicommons
Sem 2 wk 12
Anonymous Bowl Cleaner This piece purports to be a case summary of the seminal judgment, Plaintiff Anonymous Bowl Cleaner v Non-Flushers (2018). Facts The plaintiff is an MLS student (negotiable) who drinks a lot of water (non-negotiable) and has a 3-hour break between classes on Wednesdays. The plaintiff goes to the bathroom … a lot. Sem 2 Wk 12 Ying Wong “From the Greek for ‘unguent,’ what five letter term denotes a complex of molten silicates with water and gases formed within the upper mantle of the earth-?” The buzzer sounds before the host, Jeremy Paxman can finish his question, the air so thick with tension you could cut it with a knife. Ted Loveday from Gonville & Caius College, Cambridge scrunches his nose. With a quick intake of breath and all the certainty he can muster, he says, “Magma.”  Sem 2 Wk 12 Joshua Andrews The two-by-four meter portraits of those who came before us immediately catch the eye on entering MLS. Like all imagery though, the response elicited is unique for each of us. If you are a person of colour, female, disabled, or queer, your response might be different to that of other students. Your admiration for lives dedicated to creating meaningful change in society may blend with a cognisance that a part of the reason that you do not resemble those in the frames is by virtue of overtly exclusionary public policies in our very recent past. The historically closed nature of the law, which in some ways continues today, manifests in a number of implicit signals including these portraits .  Sem 2 Wk 12 Lizz Kuiper About three months ago, I was sitting in a large lecture theatre abuzz with nervous energy, as I, along with the rest of the first year cohort, was about to commence the final exam to cap off our first semester — Torts. Reading time began, and the sharp cacophony of 200 students flipping open the question booklet was quickly replaced by a tense silence. I pored over the hypothetical narrative intensely, making sure I spotted all the issues. Okay we’ve got a clear duty here… and there’s breach… hmm is there vicarious liability?… Hold on. Is this character a… bisexual man?  Sem 2 Wk 12 Andrea Ko, Janelle Koh Friday 21st September – Sunday 23rd September 2018 A: The guitar is not usually an instrument you’d immediately associate with classical music. J: Indeed, when someone says they play guitar, the thought of a fuckboi asking you if you would like to hear their staggered rendition of ‘Wonderwall’ springs to mind. A: Yet, it is becoming increasingly prominent as a classical instrument and is sure to be a delight for those who have yet to discover it. Many Melburnians (Janelle and I among them) had the pleasure of enjoying a weekend of sublime classical guitar music by various classical guitarists at the Melbourne Guitar Festival, each showcasing their own style and flair. In the weeks leading up to the Festival season, our musical palates were teased by short videos posted on the Melbourne Guitar Festival page with short snippets of what each artist would be performing. Our attention was instantly captured by Stephanie Jones, a charismatic young classical guitarist who happened to be a woman (so basically a unicorn in the classical guitar world). It was extremely exciting to finally see her playing live at Melba Hall in Parkville.   Sem 2 Wk 12
Asad Kasim-Khan These are the words of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, in front of a nuclear weapons factory. Netanyahu has been a tireless invoker of the European Holocaust as a political weapon against those who oppose the illegal acts of Israel for his decade-long tenure. Meanwhile, he has embraced openly anti-Semitic governments as long as they accept Israel’s war crimes. Calling Israel racist is apparently anti-Semitic, yet he will happily absolve Poland of its Nazi crimes. Sem 2 wk 12 Nikhil Sood Fitness is important. Fit people never die. Ever. I read that in a book once. Ok, I heard it on a podcast. I don’t know how to read. My parents failed me. As did the New Zealand schooling system. Also reading books is for old people, and podcasts are for cool millennials drowning in a sea of consumer and student debt. Being young is cool, because the youth are the future. To remain youthful I would personally advise YOU to go to the gym.  Sem 2 wk 12 Duncan Willis For as long as De Minimis has existed, it has been associated with outrage. As Jimi Muirhead noted a few weeks back, outrage can be a catalyst for positive change, yet outrage, especially when unleashed in the comments section with the benefit of anonymity can be hurtful. From everything that previous editors have told me, as well as what I have seen in the past two years on the committee as Online Editor and then Editor in Chief, finding the balance between legitimate criticism and ‘objectionable’ content is one that is not easy and one that few editors (including our team this year) can claim to have got right.  Sem 2 Wk 12 Xavier Boffa As law students – future lawyers, advocates and lawmakers – we should be more concerned about the state of our public discourse. We should strive to be more decent, more courteous and more understanding. We should desire to lead by example by resisting the temptation to conform to the standards around us. The reasons we should aspire to a greater level of civility speak for themselves. Aside from strong moral arguments in support of respect and toleration, there are many practical benefits to be gained.  Week 11, Sem 2 Adrienne Ringin Here it comes. The end. Not with a bang but with a whimper. Three years, 24 subjects, 48 ish assessments and 504 days (ish) of semester that we will never get back. We have aged immeasurably. But with age comes wisdom and the ever present need to share said wisdom with those not at the 504 day mark. So here it is: the (non) definitive list of wisdom accumulated after three years at this institution:  Week 11, Sem 2 Anon I’m tired again. Looking back on today, it’s unclear how much I’ve actually done, or how much I’ve achieved. I guess I got a good eight hours. Had a slow morning. Had the group assignment meeting, prepped for my 4:15 class, had my lecture. It was good… non-existent oil tankers make for a great story. All up, about 5 hours of work, give or take.  Week 11, Semester 2 Jacob Kairouz When I heard the head of the Real Estate Institute of Australia telling renters to get a second job, I was so angry I almost had an aneurysm. Thankfully I had a copy of the Fair Work Act within reach, and after reciting a short passage I was able to make a full recovery. I was deeply upset at how Malcolm Gunning’s words of bourgeois lechery encourage a culture of unsocial work. If our graduate wages aren’t enough we’ll have no chance of taking this advice because we might already be working ourselves to death just with a single job.  Sem 2 Week 11 William Hately I’m a bit of an advocate for beer consumption and believe in its power as a unifying social tool, so I can’t help but be disappointed every time sexism rears its head in the beer industry. Beer has come a long way in the past decade or so; attitudes are changing and it’s definitely much less of a boy’s club than it used to be. In spite of this, some of the stereotypes and attitudes that were reinforced by the marketing of the multinational beverage corporations in the 20th century still linger.  Week 10, Semester 2 By Tyson Holloway-Clarke On the morning of the 13th of February I was turning 13. I had just returned to boarding school for Year 8, and was supposed to be in maths. Instead I was in a year 7 humanities class taught by Ms. Deguara. We were watching Kevin Rudd deliver the Apology to the Stolen Generations. Ms. Deguara understood the historical significance of the moment and did not question my wanting to miss maths to watch the Apology myself. I think if she had her way she would have had the whole school, the whole country, stop and watch.  Issue 10, Semester 2 By Tess McGuire Content warning: Colonisation One of the most profound disservices of my legal education over the past three years was the discussion of Kartinyeri v The Commonwealth in Constitutional law. The focus and reason for examining the case in class was to demonstrate different approaches to interpretation; ‘formalist’ versus ‘functionalist’. A valid aspect of the case, sure. But my god does this pale in comparison to the historical significance and the myriad of legal and political issues at play.  Semester 2, Week 10 By John badgers ‘The Co-op at Melbourne University’ is a circus of a bookshop and should either be shut down or rebranded as a Mind Games store. It is a biting indictment of the complacency of University of Melbourne and serves as a neat metaphor for the general shift of Australian tertiary institutions from places of education and scholarship to glorified county fairs kitted with petting zoos, jumping castles, and face-painting (I want to state here that the lovely poodle who comes to MLS sometimes understandably escapes the criticisms I am making).  Sem 2 Week 10 By Jared Mintz The clerkship process is stressful. It’s scary, exhausting, and has infinite potential to disappoint. It also has the capacity to be an exciting, rewarding, and educational experience. While students across Australia navigate the oft-maligned clerkship minefield, I’d like to defend the process and the goal. In many ways clerkship applications operate like every other job hunt, while in others they are far better. As a preface, this is coming from someone who has received multiple rejections.  Mid-Sem break issue
By Duncan Willis & Jacob Kairouz MindQuest - Journey into Forever is the latest production from the Melbourne University Comedy Revue Board, also known as Mudcrabs. It’s a wild questing adventure to save all of humanity and it’s playing right now at the Melbourne Uni Guild Theatre as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival. The premise of MindQuest will be quite familiar to those whom, like the authors, grew up admiring Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant’s portrayals of The Doctor, (before giving up during the Matt Smith years). The protagonist, Ava is stuck in a hapless dead-end job serving entitled Sydney Road hipsters in a ‘trendy’ bookshop - café. All of a sudden the mysterious Evelyn appears and informs Ava that she is in grave danger, along with all of the multi-verse. The oft-named and never seen ‘Vortons’ have been released and are consuming everything with their negative energy. Week 9, Semester 2 By Ted Worland I was talking to a skinny American guy at a party when I first heard about elevator override codes. As he explained, holding down specific button combinations as you select your floor will program the elevator to go there directly, skipping all other floors on the way. The codes were apparently included for emergency services, but are also abused by clued-in misanthropes.  Week 9, Semester 2 By Xavier Boffa My mum frequently reminds me of Eleanor Roosevelt’s observation that ‘nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent’. Despite three years majoring in Philosophy, I’ll admit I’ve often felt I haven’t truly understood what she meant. I’ve been thinking a lot about those words since Queensland Senator Fraser Anning delivered his widely criticised ‘first speech’. Anning’s speech was clearly designed to stir controversy in an attempt to cash in on free media attention and build the relatively unknown Senator’s public profile. It seems to have worked: in the days after, Senator Anning’s Facebook following grew by almost a quarter.  |
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