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Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 ANONYMOUS “Our largest commencing class”. Not exactly the words one wishes to hear on the orientation day of a degree oft ridiculed for producing an oversupply of graduates. Alas, words to this effect were uttered to the nearly 400 commencing students in the Derham Theatre just last month. Now, at the end of my first week at MLS, I realise that these words must have been true, because the law school was unable to find sufficient seats to accommodate first year students in their Torts, Obligations, and PPL seminars. 
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Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 CAM DOIG It’s that time of year – re-litigating the Lecture Recordings DebateTM! New students, strap in: this has been going for some time. At present, recordings of MLS classes are only made available to students who:
The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), the peak representative body for all Melbourne Uni students, is campaigning for unconditional access to recordings for students. Why? Five reasons.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 JANELLE KOH “Let’s get this party started,” said Brenton Tarrant. That is all I know about the Christchurch mosque shootings, and about as much as I could take. (Many have died. I know that too.) Feelings of grief, anger, horror and hopelessness crackle through the static of social media. Even the news outlets are trying to be decent about the loss – everyone is, it seems, except for Senator Fraser Anning. In a media statement released on Friday, the man suggested that the shootings were indicative of a “growing fear within our community…of the increasing Muslim presence”, and that Islam is a “savage belief” which is the “religious equivalent of fascism”. These comments compounded upon the fractures left by the shootings, in a way that feels almost unbearable. First there were shots, and then blood; and now these words, these untruths that fill us with outrage. In the face of such unspeakable pain, it is outrage that emboldens us, makes us articulate again. We know to label such comments ‘hate speech’, and ‘bigotry’. We meet Anning’s words with our own, holding him accountable. But to meet them is to assume that behind those words, there is a man who we can reach. Yet sometimes all that is behind such words is a spectre of a man, one who cannot take responsibility for his words, or for his office. The real man may be elsewhere; I do not know.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 SAM O'CONNOR A Wild Sheep Chase, like several of Murakami’s other novels, defies any attempts to place it in a particular genre or category of fiction. The book deftly weaves from detective mystery to political thriller to magical realism to postmodernism, all without skipping a beat or sidelining its main tale. The novel follows our unnamed protagonist, a divorce advertising executive, as he tries to uncover the mystery surrounding a supposedly magical sheep, and its connections to the power wielded by Japan’s post-war political and corporate elite. In its allusions to historical and political events placed alongside the fantastical and bizarre, it is most reminiscent of the genre of magical realism.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 MICHAEL FRANZ In the past I’ve gone on the record (such as it is) as being, if not quite a defender of MLS’s revolving doors, then at the least a snide critic of their detractors. Notwithstanding all of the fashionable arguments – the environmental benefits, the equalisation of air pressure, the cynically appropriate symbolism for the revolving door model of education – I mostly just never had any sympathy for people who took genuine umbrage at the triviality of whatever perceived inconvenience the doors imposed on their daily routines.  Issue 2, Semester 1, 2019 JARED MINTZ Walking. A simple and straightforward activity, right? Not so. The Melbourne populace has a serious problem with walking. Today I turn my attention to this long-aching thorn in my side. Careful research has yielded the following list of seminal, peer-reviewed, footpath-walking skills:  While I could write a thesis on the walking-related issues listed above, my focus will be on step #2: ‘stick to one side of the sidewalk’. As an aside, I note that the visual representations of these advices are riveting, should anyone be interested in further research of their own.
Issue 2, Semester 1, 2019 SAMANTHA DOOLEY The first day of classes for the semester will have me feeling that my sartorial elegance is not only achievable every day, but mandatory. Hair is washed and straightened, make-up fresh, red lips perfectly applied with none on my teeth even, my outfit clean and ironed and I'm in matching underwear top it off. However, week four and five sneak up, and so do hoodies instead of blazers or cute jumpers, and ballet flats instead of wedges.  Issue 2, Semester 1, 2019 XAVIER BOFFA I actually wrote the bulk of this piece some months ago, never necessarily intending for it to be shared or published. This was long before the controversy that resulted from the deletion of a comment in response to an article I wrote for the LMR edition of De Minimis, but those events seem to suggest that this may be a subject that may follow me until the end of time, no matter where I go or what I do. As I’ve written in the past, I genuinely believe that many of our problems can be remediated with understanding and compassion. This is why I so enjoy reading and writing about identity and self-esteem. It’s not that I feel sorry for myself, or even that I feel particularly aggrieved. Instead, I believe that talking about who we are as people is how we connect on a human level.  Issue 2, Semester 1, 2019 VARIOUS AUTHORS For anybody considering a career on the editorial board of this illustrious publication, you should be warned of one of our more secretive and sinister traditions. Upon retiring, it is customary for the outgoing Editorial Board to depart on an expedition into the depths of the De Minimis Archives, located deep in the bowels of our level 5 office, in the hopes of recovering some treasure or manuscript lost to history. Some months ago, after provisioning themselves with victuals and fortified rum, and sharing one last tear-laden goodbye with family and sweethearts, last year’s team turned their backs on the sun and marched bravely into those mephitic caverns. This morning, a single survivor returned, malnourished and delirious, before expiring some hours later from an exotic malady. Clutched in their rictus grip, a handful of pages torn from past issues. In the interest of history, we present them here, a fleeting glimpse into the De Minimis of decades ago.  Life of a Law Student, circa 1949 Issue 1, Semester 1, 2019 LARRY IPSUM In response to today's events in the comments section, we've already been receiving a number of pieces from concerned students about censorship. De Minimis reserves the right to exercise editorial oversight over any and all submissions. We present the below piece, in line with our editorial policy.  Larry is a Twelfth Year JD Student.
Larry has disappeared into a black site. For re-education. He has won the victory over himself. He loves Big Minimis. Issue 1, Semester 1, 2019 ANISHA THOMAS Welcome back to all, whether to those who have stayed clear of this echo chamber for the good part of the last four months, those with a week’s respite between LMR and today, those who, in a spiritual sense, never really left, and of course to those who actually just didn’t go (I worked from Level 3 too, I know who you are). De Minimis has been a stalwart companion to law students since its first run in 1948. It has variously been conceived of as the Law School’s laziest fourth estate, ‘a rag’, a publication that ‘will print anything you send in that is not obscene and libellous’, and that thing that someone once called it in the comments section somewhere. Granted, most of these indictments are self-labelled (please don’t question whatever complex its various editors have had), but even we’ll admit that De Minimis is the Law School's best friend. I mean, when your only other choice is the weekly Careers Online email which you only read for the job opportunities… no wait who am I kidding, that email is serious gold. Alright, perhaps ‘good friend’ might have to suffice.  Issue 1, Semester 1, 2019 RENZO TWEEDIE It sounds cliché, but now that I’m a second year my wisdom is all the more important and worthy of being read-heard. This piece is primarily directed towards first years (not the only piece pointing that way amirite ladies), however if you feel like you can benefit from my pearls then by all means subscribe to my Self-Help Podcast entitled ‘You’re Not Doing Great Sweetie’. I have five fantastic points that will guarantee your success at MLS. [1]  Image: Creative Commons. Issue 1, Semester 1, 2019 SARAH ABELL Over the summer holidays I was very fortunate to complete an Aurora Internship with Just Reinvest NSW, a non-for-profit organisation that advocates for the adoption of justice reinvestment in NSW. Justice reinvestment (JR) is a concept that originated in the USA to combat high incarceration rates. In Australia, it has been adapted in an attempt to reduce the disproportionate rates of incarceration of Indigenous Australians. JR involves community-led initiatives that better target the causes of crime in Indigenous communities, with a view to keeping Indigenous people out of contact with the criminal justice system in the long term. It also entails policy and advocacy reform to reduce the overall prison population and redirect savings towards community led initiatives.  Image: Supplied. Semester 1, Issue 1, 2019 JACOB KAIROUZ Those who know me will be aware of my annual escape attempts, but this time I was truly determined to take agency in my life decisions and not to let the thoughts win. (New year, new me.) Perhaps unsurprisingly, I spent most of the past summer unsure of where I would end up. When January came, two of my housemates turned very sour and my fate became even less certain.  Image: Creative Commons 2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 MICHAEL FRANZ Ugh, first years. This is what happens when you have a slow submission week. With the big boss Editor-in-Chief Anisha taking up all the prime real estate in next week’s issue with her official Week One Welcome, it falls to your humble Managing Editor to scratch out something witty and avuncular for this here LMR issue, to help gird all you freshlings for your big adventure in law school. Problem is, that as an old man I don’t exactly speak the lingua franca of today’s youth. Add to that, right now I’m tired from staying up late watching The Devil Wears Prada, I left this piece way too close to deadline, and I’m sure that at this stage you’ve heard every possible variation of ground-breaking advice from your Pathfinders, orientation panels and assorted seniors to the effect of ‘remember to take care of yourself’. So instead, as De Minimis’ resident mature-age student, I’ve decided to go in a different direction and take time out of my busy schedule of hip replacements and heart medication refills to offer up a good old-fashioned grumpy rant. You children don’t get enough grumpy rants these days. Also, pro tip - nobody expects rants to have much thematic cohesion, internal structure or even good content, so it makes it easier to get away with lazy writing.  2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 XAVIER BOFFA Law school. You've made it. To get here you’ve endured the LSAT, sat countless exams, and submitted innumerable assignments. If, like me, the thought of a few dozen more doesn't necessarily fill you with excitement, you've come to the right place. 
2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0
KARAN DESAI and YING WONG Here are some of our best JD (and life) tips from day one to admission, in joyous, listenable, easy-to-access format. 36 songs for the 36 days of Semester 1 and the next 36+ months of your life. Enjoy. 
2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 TILLY HOUGHTON and JAYNAYA DWYER This article was originally published in Vol 12, Issue 12, 2017. That every person before the Court has the right to representation is a fundamental principle for the legal system—if it is to be a just legal system. But in a democratic society that adheres to the free market, this, in practice, looks markedly different: the resources available to a powerful defendant are in many cases superior to those of the plaintiff seeking the jurisdiction of the Court. We all know this, but as the offers for clerkships come out very shortly, it may be worth re-asking the question: why did you choose to study law?  Image: Supplied
2019, LMR Edition, Issue 0 ANONYMOUS A printed version of this open letter appeared outside the lift well on Open Day 2016. It was quickly taken down by University of Melbourne Staff. It details the experience and opinion of one third year JD student, and is being republished here in the LMR Edition (Issue 0) of 2019. Dear Prospective MLS Student, Welcome to the Law School. I am a third year JD student in my final semester at Melbourne Law School. It’s a Sunday, and I am studying at the library - likely what you will be doing three out of four Sundays should you study law here. But before I open my textbooks I wanted to write some truths in the midst of the Open Day fervour so that you may make an informed decision to study law here, or not.  Image: Wikicommons
Sem 2 wk 12
Anonymous Bowl Cleaner This piece purports to be a case summary of the seminal judgment, Plaintiff Anonymous Bowl Cleaner v Non-Flushers (2018). Facts The plaintiff is an MLS student (negotiable) who drinks a lot of water (non-negotiable) and has a 3-hour break between classes on Wednesdays. The plaintiff goes to the bathroom … a lot. Sem 2 Wk 12 Ying Wong “From the Greek for ‘unguent,’ what five letter term denotes a complex of molten silicates with water and gases formed within the upper mantle of the earth-?” The buzzer sounds before the host, Jeremy Paxman can finish his question, the air so thick with tension you could cut it with a knife. Ted Loveday from Gonville & Caius College, Cambridge scrunches his nose. With a quick intake of breath and all the certainty he can muster, he says, “Magma.”  Sem 2 Wk 12 Joshua Andrews The two-by-four meter portraits of those who came before us immediately catch the eye on entering MLS. Like all imagery though, the response elicited is unique for each of us. If you are a person of colour, female, disabled, or queer, your response might be different to that of other students. Your admiration for lives dedicated to creating meaningful change in society may blend with a cognisance that a part of the reason that you do not resemble those in the frames is by virtue of overtly exclusionary public policies in our very recent past. The historically closed nature of the law, which in some ways continues today, manifests in a number of implicit signals including these portraits .  Sem 2 Wk 12 Lizz Kuiper About three months ago, I was sitting in a large lecture theatre abuzz with nervous energy, as I, along with the rest of the first year cohort, was about to commence the final exam to cap off our first semester — Torts. Reading time began, and the sharp cacophony of 200 students flipping open the question booklet was quickly replaced by a tense silence. I pored over the hypothetical narrative intensely, making sure I spotted all the issues. Okay we’ve got a clear duty here… and there’s breach… hmm is there vicarious liability?… Hold on. Is this character a… bisexual man?  Sem 2 Wk 12 Andrea Ko, Janelle Koh Friday 21st September – Sunday 23rd September 2018 A: The guitar is not usually an instrument you’d immediately associate with classical music. J: Indeed, when someone says they play guitar, the thought of a fuckboi asking you if you would like to hear their staggered rendition of ‘Wonderwall’ springs to mind. A: Yet, it is becoming increasingly prominent as a classical instrument and is sure to be a delight for those who have yet to discover it. Many Melburnians (Janelle and I among them) had the pleasure of enjoying a weekend of sublime classical guitar music by various classical guitarists at the Melbourne Guitar Festival, each showcasing their own style and flair. In the weeks leading up to the Festival season, our musical palates were teased by short videos posted on the Melbourne Guitar Festival page with short snippets of what each artist would be performing. Our attention was instantly captured by Stephanie Jones, a charismatic young classical guitarist who happened to be a woman (so basically a unicorn in the classical guitar world). It was extremely exciting to finally see her playing live at Melba Hall in Parkville.   Sem 2 Wk 12
Asad Kasim-Khan These are the words of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, in front of a nuclear weapons factory. Netanyahu has been a tireless invoker of the European Holocaust as a political weapon against those who oppose the illegal acts of Israel for his decade-long tenure. Meanwhile, he has embraced openly anti-Semitic governments as long as they accept Israel’s war crimes. Calling Israel racist is apparently anti-Semitic, yet he will happily absolve Poland of its Nazi crimes. |
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