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Issue 7, Semester 1, 2019 ALEXANDER BUCK ‘Climate change science’ has been known about since the 1880s thanks to a Swedish chemist, Sevante Arrhenius, who calculated the effect of carbon dioxide on our planet’s temperature. Fast-forward one century, and in the 1970s fossil fuel companies started to believe that those physico-chemical equations may have been correct, investing millions of dollars into climate research. By 1977 Exxon senior scientist James Black told the company’s management committee that there was ‘general scientific agreement’ that what was then called the ‘greenhouse effect’ was most likely caused by CO2 released by humans. From 16 October 1979, we already knew that “fossil fuel consumption (would) cause dramatic environmental effects before the year 2050” and that the problem was “great and urgent”. In June 1988 NASA scientist James Hansen took climate change to the US Congress, stating that the planet was already warming. The issue was immediately buried by millions of dollars in lobbying from fossil fuel companies. Today, companies, led by BP and Shell, spend nearly $200m a year on lobbying to delay efforts to prevent climate breakdown. Thank you BP for giving the government the money to pay for my education. But at what cost? 
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Issue 7, Semester 1, 2019 ELIF SEKERCIOGLU Elif Sekercioglu shares her experience from the opening night of the 2019 Public Interest Practice Skills Program. Community Legal Centres perform important social justice functions within the community. Through volunteer programs, these unique community organisations are where many law students get their first exposure to legal practice environments. When I started volunteering at a community legal centre (‘CLC’) in my first year, it was the printer that filled me with dread. For the first few weeks, the printer and I were engaged in a discreet battle of wills, where I tried photocopying double-sided A4 and it returned my documents in A3 with half the pages missing. Then there were the client interviews. The interviewee might express their anger that they had already answered the questions (they had — but to the Department of Immigration, not me), there were clients who were evasive, and those whose answers stretched far beyond the boundaries of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ into a story about their past. When I was volunteering at Fitzroy Legal Service last year, the criminal lawyer and I were unexpectedly called into the Supreme Court because the jury had a question. I sat off to the side of the courtroom, surrounded by practitioners dressed demurely in black. I was wearing a bright red jumper. I’m sure nobody noticed or cared, but I kept my knitwear to less blaring shades for the rest of the trial.  Issue 7, Semester 1, 2019 CONCERNED CITIZEN J*, burgeoning baby lawyer, was today shaken by a particularly controversial aspect of the law. Seeking the support of a fellow first-year, equally as ploughed with outrage, they proceeded to whisper in what a bystander described as what can only be called ‘a misapplication of the concept of stage whispers, given that the participants were neither on stage nor particularly interesting’. Their animated repartee further inconvenienced a fellow Juris Doctor Candidate at Melbourne Law School (according to LinkedIn), who sedulously commandeers a rare non-communal study desk for the purposes of undertaking an empirical study into how many pins they can hear drop in the silence of the space. “My work here is ruined”, they mimed exasperatedly to our undercover reporter. “I must now restart this JD experiment for the third time to ensure reliability and accuracy of my data”, noting that “this frivolity is uncalled for” and “why can’t people just shut the [REDACTED] up?”. Bound by the inflexibility of the library’s peremptory norm of maintaining dangerously low decibels, many attempted, in futility, to convey their abject dismay and disgust over furtive looks and scowls directed at the haplessly verbose conversationalists.  Issue 7, Semester 1, 2019 NATHAN CHIN The Easter break is near, and with it comes the lie you've told yourself: that you'll use it to catch up. Since you're going to procrastinate, maybe at the very least you can make it a bit more justifiable (in your head). It's not procrastination if it's inspiration. Surely, you'll study better overall if you're more inspired. As such, I present to you my list of the top ten legal dramas and films that every JD student absolutely must watch. Author's Note: This isn't a list of best legal productions of all time. I know that there are plenty of amazing works that won't be here. Factors that I considered were: humour, popularity amongst the JD cohort, recency, my target audience, and my personal opinion. 10. How to Get Away with Murder (2014–) This show does not deserve to be called a legal drama. The story occurs in a law school, with law students and law teachers. But don’t be fooled, the only law school it resembles is probably what the average Legal Studies 3/4 student thinks law school is. Wes Gibson, all in his first day of law school, reaches the top of his class, gets recruited at a law firm, participates in a deposition and appears in court, all without doing any readings. The story is pretty interesting though. Verdict: Mindless thriller — 5/10 (Contd...)  Issue 7, Semester 1, 2019 SHANE F The Law School was once in the stone cloister Where it was often said, 'the world's your oyster!' But now they just tell 'em We'll see you on Pelham And the debt's enough to make your eyes moister. Editor's note: Ok, we're sick of limericks. Anybody know how to write a haiku? Email mlsdeminimis@gmail.com  Image: Edward Lear's A Book of Nonsense, 1846 Issue 7, Semester 1, 2019 LIZZ KUIPER Editor's note: We recommend you pick up a print copy to get the ~full benefit~ of doing this crossword in ye olde physical form. 
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Issue 6, Semester 1, 2019 TYSON HOLLOWAY-CLARKE When I graduated in 2017 Uncle Wayne Atkinson was on the dias. He spoke about his people, the Yorta Yorta people, his research and his life’s work in fighting for land rights and education. That day I had all my regalia on, with the unique addition of a sash. It was striped in the red, yellow and black of the Aboriginal flag. Over the many hours of ceremony I could tell Uncle Wayne was growing weary, his eyes hanging low and following the shoes across the stage. It was quite a startle for him then when my dad Gavin broke with the explicitly stated instruction “Do not to cheer for your child”. Uncle Wayne spotted my larger than life black father in the crowd and swung around. He saw my sash, shining in our colours. He looked as though he was almost as happy as my Dad.  Issue 6, Semester 1, 2019 MICHAEL FRANZ At some point during the next thousand words or so I’m going to start sounding like a crazy person, so I may as well rip that band-aid off right now. Sometime in the near future a computer will be doing your job. To be clear, what I mean by this is not just that increasing automation of services in the legal profession will attenuate demand in the graduate job market. I mean quite literally that computers will drive the human lawyer to extinction.  Issue 6, Semester 1, 2019 TAH AH JIA The room was blurry. A certain type of mischief splashed onto an empty canvas. Maybe it was the tears in my eyes that discarded my view, or just my mind playing tricks on me because I barely remember what happened to begin with—I don’t know. All I did know was that I was leaning against my wardrobe mirror, scrolling through my phone for no apparent reason, as my roommate sat across from me, crossed legged and weary on the top bunk of the bed.  Issue 6, Semester 1, 2019 To the gorgeous male specimen floating around the law school on a cloud of BOSS by Hugo Boss: You were wearing RMs and a puffer vest. Your vaguely curtained fringe, reminiscent of a sexy young Leo (DiCaprio), bouncing like the heaving udders of a heavily pregnant cow. We locked eyes walking towards the lifts on ground floor, I was near the edgy rainbow tape. You sauntered out on level one (bit lazy for a man draped in the finest of bush outfitting, but maybe the weight of privilege on your shoulders was very heavy). Or maybe you got out because you got the wrong building (you do look more like you should be gliding around the Spot, but maybe you’ve graduated and flown across Pelham to make daddy happy). Anyway, I noticed that we seem to have, at least superficially, a lot in common: - We both are studying core subjects at the law school - We both have iPhones - We both drink water - We both breathe - We both blink If you think this is you, please send an email to mlsdeminimis@gmail.com. If you've missed a connection around MLS or if you want to write a missed connection, or classified for your 'friend' who 'deserves love' and 'is shy' so 'you' are 'writing it for them', also email us at mlsdeminimis@gmail.com. We love moo and hope you find yo heif-find love through our Number One Detective Love-Finding Agency.  Illustration by Ying Wong Issue 6, Semester 1, 2019 VARIOUS AUTHORS There once was a class at ol’ Pelham Street Where none of the students could find a spare seat The teacher said with a shout “What are you complaining about? PPL is a subject best done on your feet!” - Evan B I attempted to heat my lunch But level one hindered my munch It’s hard to define The length of the line The window’s view adds sting to the punch - Ben S For our man Justice Kirby, our hearts all did throb Til Chief Justice French did declare with a sob “Another dissent! My patience is spent! Mike, I think you might just be bad at your job!” - Edgar B The Corkman in its lustre and gloss Once stood proud from the law school across Cowboys came one November Walls and roof to dismember And now we just breathe in asbestos. - Anon Editor's note: Thanks all for your submissions!  De Minimis supports healthy and robust debate in the comments section of the online publication. Currently, we allow anyone to comment (whether anonymous or not) as long as the comments do not breach our guidelines (in short, they should not be defamatory nor breach the University’s Student Misconduct Policy). However, there are certain limitations with the current commenting mechanism, and we would like your feedback on how it can be improved. Please fill out this [fully anonymous] survey to assist us in this process! We would greatly appreciate it.  Issue 5, Semester 1, 2019 SHANE FULORGEE A limerick by Shane Fulorgee There was a High Court Justice named Hayne, Who’s manner was aridly plain. On the bench he would sleep, And under skirts he would peep, Until Susan said “Kenneth, refrain.” Limericks wanted! Think you can write a better law school limerick? Submit your own at mlsdeminimis@gmail.com. Keep an eye open for your submissions published next week!  Issue 5, Semester 1, 2019 DEFINITELY A LAW STUDENT Describing what it’s like to date someone who is NOT studying law is like trying to see air, which I certainly don’t do in the suffocating corners of level 3, the one pot plant besieged with the impossible task of churning out oxygen to our gasping demands. I struggle to find the words to describe how much I love you outside of syllogisms (You are great. I love everything great. Therefore, I must love you). Thankfully, many artists have done this labour of love (in so many ways). Let me direct you to the dulcet tones of Boney M’s outro in their beatific banger ‘Sunny’: I love you I love you I love you I love you  Issue 5, Semester 1, 2019 EDGAR BOX Boats! Who doesn’t love a good boat? They’re such nifty little craft, useful for all kinds of tasks. Need to pillage some villages a ways up the coast? Boats! Need to colonise some far away lands for King and Country? Boats! Beloved husband of thirty years just die, and now that you’re approaching the twilight years, decide it’s time to rediscover life, love and yourself, in the form of a 30-day sex cruise around the Mediterranean? Boats! This was obviously the thinking of the LSS committee, who last Wednesday hosted the first annual LSS boat party, ‘Spin Class Heroes’ themed (read: lots of sweatbands and sports bras). The evening began swimmingly. It’s hard to go wrong with $3.00 house vodka, and enough free pizza to trigger all the gluten allergies in Fitzroy. After a while however, the realisation began to sink in, that for all their nautical utility, it turns out that boats do have one drastic shortcoming. In the end they’re only as interesting as whatever you are doing on them.  Issue 5, Semester 1, 2019 EVA It’s a Wednesday evening. A few hours ago, my friend helped me unload the last of my meagre possessions from their car onto the floor of my new bedroom. As far as bedrooms go, it isn’t much to speak of — small, cheap carpet, fluorescent lights, in a house of strangers. I’ll be sleeping on the floor tonight; hopefully I’ll have time to assemble my second-hand Ikea bed this weekend. Despite the less than homely environment, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of relief after the past twenty-two days.  Issue 4, Semester 1, 2019 ANONYMOUS Content warning: This article contains material referring to the recent Christchurch attacks. I have been putting off writing anything about the attack on the mosques in Christchurch. Solely because it takes me back to some excruciatingly painful memories. Memories I wish I never had to experience.  Image: Reuters/Jorge Silva Issue 4, Semester 1, 2019
XAVIER BOFFA Content warning: The following article contains material related to sexual assault. While it may have escaped the attention of most Australians, a fortnight ago Arizona Senator Martha McSally took the incredibly courageous step of sharing her experience of sexual violence with the World as part of a United States Senate armed services hearing on the prevention of sexual assault. There is a great deal of significance to be found in this revelation’s coinciding with the week of International Women’s Day (March 8). And yet, we must not confine our concern for the substantial inequalities women still face, both in our own society and across the globe, to just one day a year. Issue 4, Semester 1, 2019 YING WONG Read Russian literature, they said. It’ll reveal all manner of truths about the depth and depravity of the human soul; you’ll be a better person for it, they said. Naturally, I Googled “Best Russian Books,” and rather than picking up Dostoevsky or Tolstoy (as per instructions), I stumbled upon The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Simultaneously one of the most entertaining, ridiculous, and introspective books I’ve ever read, it is one I highly recommend.  Issue 4, Semester 1, 2019 ANONYMOUS You are a law student. That’s all you are, because law consumes your life. Explaining what it is like to be dating someone in law school is as hard as describing the colour orange to a blind person. It’s difficult to articulate how much it pains me to see you, my significant other, torture yourself over readings and revision and it’s just as hard to find a way to help you when all you want is peace and time to study.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 ANONYMOUS “Our largest commencing class”. Not exactly the words one wishes to hear on the orientation day of a degree oft ridiculed for producing an oversupply of graduates. Alas, words to this effect were uttered to the nearly 400 commencing students in the Derham Theatre just last month. Now, at the end of my first week at MLS, I realise that these words must have been true, because the law school was unable to find sufficient seats to accommodate first year students in their Torts, Obligations, and PPL seminars.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 CAM DOIG It’s that time of year – re-litigating the Lecture Recordings DebateTM! New students, strap in: this has been going for some time. At present, recordings of MLS classes are only made available to students who:
The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), the peak representative body for all Melbourne Uni students, is campaigning for unconditional access to recordings for students. Why? Five reasons.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 JANELLE KOH “Let’s get this party started,” said Brenton Tarrant. That is all I know about the Christchurch mosque shootings, and about as much as I could take. (Many have died. I know that too.) Feelings of grief, anger, horror and hopelessness crackle through the static of social media. Even the news outlets are trying to be decent about the loss – everyone is, it seems, except for Senator Fraser Anning. In a media statement released on Friday, the man suggested that the shootings were indicative of a “growing fear within our community…of the increasing Muslim presence”, and that Islam is a “savage belief” which is the “religious equivalent of fascism”. These comments compounded upon the fractures left by the shootings, in a way that feels almost unbearable. First there were shots, and then blood; and now these words, these untruths that fill us with outrage. In the face of such unspeakable pain, it is outrage that emboldens us, makes us articulate again. We know to label such comments ‘hate speech’, and ‘bigotry’. We meet Anning’s words with our own, holding him accountable. But to meet them is to assume that behind those words, there is a man who we can reach. Yet sometimes all that is behind such words is a spectre of a man, one who cannot take responsibility for his words, or for his office. The real man may be elsewhere; I do not know.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 SAM O'CONNOR A Wild Sheep Chase, like several of Murakami’s other novels, defies any attempts to place it in a particular genre or category of fiction. The book deftly weaves from detective mystery to political thriller to magical realism to postmodernism, all without skipping a beat or sidelining its main tale. The novel follows our unnamed protagonist, a divorce advertising executive, as he tries to uncover the mystery surrounding a supposedly magical sheep, and its connections to the power wielded by Japan’s post-war political and corporate elite. In its allusions to historical and political events placed alongside the fantastical and bizarre, it is most reminiscent of the genre of magical realism.  Issue 3, Semester 1, 2019 MICHAEL FRANZ In the past I’ve gone on the record (such as it is) as being, if not quite a defender of MLS’s revolving doors, then at the least a snide critic of their detractors. Notwithstanding all of the fashionable arguments – the environmental benefits, the equalisation of air pressure, the cynically appropriate symbolism for the revolving door model of education – I mostly just never had any sympathy for people who took genuine umbrage at the triviality of whatever perceived inconvenience the doors imposed on their daily routines.  |
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