Volume 1, Issue 6 (Originally Published on 1 April 2012)
Sources have denied that the suggestion by three senior faculty members to phase in student uniforms is due to some kind of bizarre fetish. Instead, the smart new look will serve the twin aims of promoting the MLS brand and grooming JDs for the tough job market and corporate world that await them post-graduation.
The number of young JDs on campus has swelled this year, with stampeding and scuffling in the "quiet" study areas involving students grabbing chairs from one another and ferocious attempts to claim a lab computer not already seized by European backpackers keen to update their Facebook photos.
“If they behave like hooligans in the professional world, they will bring disgrace upon the law school and never last in a job. It's really doing them a favour to institute a dress code that will foster professionalism.”
Imposing a professional and uniform look on students has an advantage not overlooked by the Law School's self- promotion unit, which devotes considerable resources to branding and merchandising in its ceaseless attempts to position itself as the country's — indeed world's — premier institution of legal learning.
“As budgets tighten, we believe that having students wearing smart uniforms is a cost- effective way of raising our profile in the community and differentiating ourselves from the riff-raff who throng to lesser institutions. As the MLS logo and brand are emblazoned on accessories such as ties, tote bags, socks and scarves, the students become walking, talking publicity for the law school. We are always thinking of creative ways to enhance our profile and remind the world that we're Number Nine.” (The unmistakeablereference is to the MLS's coveted and much-discussed QS rating, though official approval of the words slogan 'Ninth Best in the World' has yet to be received.