Volume 1, Issue 2 (Originally Published 5 March 2012)
Dear Agony Aunts
I've spotted a guy in my cohort I want to be on. Are intra-cohort romances a good idea?
Dear Intra-Cohort Romance,
Due to lack of sufficient information, Auntie Ethel is going to have to draw some inferences here. Assuming that you are a girl, and the guy you speak of is heterosexual and single, it would be simplicity itself to “be on” him.
At an opportune moment (law camp after multiple beverages come to mind), ask him if he fancies a shag. Chances are good that he will say yes, and you can ride off into the sunset, and you can both pretend afterwards that it never happened. However, as Auntie Ethel suspects, what you really want is, in the immortal words of Love Actually, “you’d like to marry him and have lots and lots of sex and babies”, you will need to take an entirely different approach.** What you need to keep in mind is that the pursuit of an intra-JD (let alone intra-cohort) romance must be undertaken with great caution. Remember that not only are you spending a significant portion of your waking hours in the same building/classroom as your intended this semester, there’s a chance that if the relationship implodes, you will find yourself in the same syndicate sometime in the future.
As if group work wasn’t already Fraught with all the dramas worthy of a daytime soap. The only advantage that may result from a failed attempt would be many years in the future, when you face him across the table or in court, on opposite sides of a contentious case, when you can channel your years of built up venom and angst into getting him where it hurts the most... His ego.
Though there are always happy exceptions to the norm, Aunt Myrtle has reminded me that an important maxim to live life by is, don’t defecate where you eat.
All the best, Auntie Ethel
**As found in esteemed publications such as Cosmo and Girlfriend